My Kids

I have two new kids now in addition to my precious Maria and Charlie. Their names are Leah and Samuel. They are the babes I Nanny. They are wonderful. I adore them and fall more in love with taking care of them everyday. Coming to work every morning even after the 45min-hour drive is always a joy. This is my second official week working with them full-time, but I have known them for a month and a half already.
Samuel, age 6 loves using his imagination to create games and activities. He has a best friend named Sammy, a girl who lives a couple houses down the street. They band-aided themselves together last week so they "could stay together forever". Samuel swims, plays piano, and wants to be a scientist when he gets older. He amazes me everyday with his eagerness to learn and ability to put into practice his current knowledge. I love it when he goes to hold my hand or stands close to me when he's telling me something, it lets me know he loves me.

Leah is my little one; not yet three years old. She is so much fun to be around and always shows a lot of affection and love for me. The other day while I was doing her hair she said, "Liz, I like you and I love you". It's those tender unprompted moments that I love the most. I love playing with her, singing with her, teaching her, putting her down for nap, picking out her clothes in the morning, and reading to her (we read A LOT everyday). Leah is a true treasure. Unfortunatly Leah is sick today. She got some sort of stomache thing over the weekend and is still recovering. She has a fever and is napping right now. I feel bad for her.
..
I already love these kids and I've only known them a short time. I miss them when I am not with them during the day while they are at school or playdates. I soak up every minute I can with them.
In other news I just bought a Christmas tree for the apartment. Sarah had mentioned the sadness of not having one, and since I lost mine I agreed. Tonight I am buying new lights, and assembling the tree so that Sarah and I can decorate it together later this week. I am so looking forward to that. As much as I say I don't like the Christmas season because of what it's been turned into over the years, there is still something in me that likes the magic of lights and ornaments. I can't wait to put up our new tree and stare at it!

ThanksWHAT?!?!

Ok, so I had a revelation this morning when I was sitting up to get out of bed. I started to think about how today was thanksgiving, and then tomorrow... well... tomorrow is the biggest shopping day of the year. Then I realized how stupid that sounded.
We are supposed to have a day to celebrate with loved ones and revel over the years events and then be thankful for all the good and maybe even the trials too. It's all happy and nice. Then we go out the next day and spend all of our money, and probably money we don't have taking our wealth, security, and stuff we already have for granted!! What the crap?? I feel as if that is kinda canceling out the lovely thankfulness we had the day before.
And it goes so much deeper than that. I really dislike the winter holidays. I don't like what they have been turned into. I don't like that I have been a part of it all my life... the presents, Santa, capitalism, spending hundreds of dollars to decorate the house and pay for the electric bill afterward. And what are most people celebrating anyway?? Are they celebrating the birth of Jesus or the coming of an imaginary character with flying mammals pulling his huge butt around the world?? Can we be celebrating both? Are we just doing it because "that's just how it is"? Oh, I am just getting more upset as I talk.
I am sorry to those of you who love the holidays and especially those who celebrate them modestly.
I love buying and receiving presents, I love eating delicious food, I love seeing people I love and spending time with them, and I love twinkling lights... I just want to keep myself in check to make sure I am celebrating for the right reasons and in a way that is not contradictory to the way I live the rest of my life.
I am in Michigan for Thanksgiving: dinner with Dad today and The Nolls tomorrow. Then I will be returning to Palatine probably Sunday. I was with the kids all day yesterday which was lovely. Maria and I had a blast and because it was nice out we got to go outside and play. We sang songs and played on the swings and I tried to teach her to ride her bike. It was great! I am very much looking forward to the fried turkey that we are having today! I love that stuff!! I think my favorite part of a turkey is the skin... sick but true!!

My Babies and more

So, Charlie is 6 months old now! Isn't he darling??

Sandy, John, Maria and Charlie... what a good looking family.

Here also is Maria trying to get Charlie to look at the camera... what a helper! heh...

Here are the kids with their grandparents and of course mom and dad!

Whoa Mamma!

Made ya look!!! I really don't have much to say that really constitutes a "Whoa Mamma", but I just thought I'd try it out! The past few days have been pleasantly exciting and full of new people and me actually doing something other than sitting around all day. I definitely still sat around, but the sitting was much less that usual! Tuesday I went to Axis at Willow Creek and it was great! I met some new people and I really feel like it's the place for me! The topic of discussion and teaching was "community". I love the idea of a thriving community based on God's/the first church's model of living. If you are not familiar with this model I will refer you to a passage in the Bible- Acts 2: 42. In there it talks about eating together, being devoted to following God's teaching, miracles happening, daily meeting together, giving up everything and then redistributing possessions as people had needs, and all sorts of other gushy and lovely utopian ideas! I realize of course that these things do not happen today very often and I think that's why I like it so much. I have seen good community and dreamed about it even more. I want to be part of something like that! With InterVarsity I had community. As disfunctional as it was sometimes, it was still a place I grew, learned, made friends, got filled up, and served. When I came to Chicago I was already starving for a group of people I could do those things with after pouring out my everything during my second internship and being away from IV for 3 months. I was determined that the first thing I was to do here was to get involved somewhere I could be used and be given back to. My friends, I think I've found it. Axis is a new group that is just building itself back up so I am jumping in at a good time! I met the leader and the intern there and we were all pumped for the coming weeks. Next week is Vision week which I am very excited for! I can't wait to hear what John (the leader) has to say about the future and misson statement of Axis. I've been thinking about it since I left the church on Tuesday. And since I've been going on about it for a few paragraphs you can probably tell I am excited! So, moving on...Wed. was good, library time and church. Thursday was better, library time and a good night with Sarah. We went for a run and then hung out on the couch until bedtime. Friday was better yet, slept in, went over to the Wiltse's for the afternoon and the kids had a good day; no major problems and absolutely no fighting, it was amazing. Friday night I took a bath and did about an hour and a half of journaling! Now today is Saturday and I am back at the library. I am going to borrow a few movies, and go get cream of chicken soup from down the road. What I really want is some pie... maybe I'll get that too... I shouldn't... :) Ok, so now that you know all the details I will let you stop reading, unless you already did stop... Thanks for hanging in there if you didn't get bored!!

Another Week

So... It's the beginning of another week. There really isn't too much to note.

I guess I can talk about last week... Last week I worked Friday and Saturday and Saturday evening with kids. Fri. was with the Perlman's and Sat. was with Sarah's family The Wiltse's. Sat. night I was back at the Perlman's for a few hours. I really enjoyed my days and evenings witht the kids. It was nice to have something to do that lasted longer than a couple of hours!! Plus I am really enjoying getting to know the Perlman kids. They are great!

That pretty much sums up last week... heh...

This week I have a few things to look forward to. Tonight: Church with the 18-20 somethings for my first time. I am hoping to get plugged in quickly and make new friends! Tomorrow: Church again WOOT! Thursday: Roomate Date Night!!!! WOOT WOOT!! And then comes the weekend which I will probably be spending alone aside from a few hours of babysitting on sunday afternoon and a dinner with Willow folks in the evening.

I've decided that I really just need to get plugged in somewhere before I dry up and die. I feel so alone during the days, not having anything of real significance to do. I need to serve, or lead, or SOMETHING!! AHHH!!!

I've also decided that I want to die before every step I take results in me farting loudly in public places.

Another Week

So... It's the beginning of another week. There really isn't too much to note.

I guess I can talk about last week... Last week I worked Friday and Saturday and Saturday evening with kids. Fri. was with the Perlman's and Sat. was with Sarah's family The Wiltse's. Sat. night I was back at the Perlman's for a few hours. I really enjoyed my days and evenings witht the kids. It was nice to have something to do that lasted longer than a couple of hours!! Plus I am really enjoying getting to know the Perlman kids. They are great!

That pretty much sums up last week... heh...

This week I have a few things to look forward to. Tonight: Church with the 18-20 somethings for my first time. I am hoping to get plugged in quickly and make new friends! Tomorrow: Church again WOOT! Thursday: Roomate Date Night!!!! WOOT WOOT!! And then comes the weekend which I will probably be spending alone aside from a few hours of babysitting on sunday afternoon and a dinner with Willow folks in the evening.

I've decided that I really just need to get plugged in somewhere before I dry up and die. I feel so alone during the days, not having anything of real significance to do. I need to serve, or lead, or SOMETHING!! AHHH!!!

I've also decided that I want to die before every step I take results in me farting loudly in public places.

You are Probably Wondering What is Happening with me, and if You're not I am Going to Tel You Anyway!!

So, here is the past week or so of my life.

• Marathon weekend!!! It was so awesome to have to opportunity to spectate at the Chicago Marathon. I loved cheering on my dearest Sarah and Emily! It felt so good to finally see her run after all the hard work she put in. She ran so strong. I was utterly amazed with her! She rocked my world that day and I am so proud. It was cool to be a part of something bigger than me too, although I was still played a significant part. It was fun to run around the city with Rebecca and Shawn. I haven't gotten to spend much time with shawn, so it was good to have that and to be doing something together for Sarah. It was a full weekend, but generally a pleasant and exciting one. Having Rebecca there was great too, I am so glad she made the trip!

• Had an all-day working interview with the Perlman Family (kids= Samuel and Leah) on Monday the 23rd.

• Went to Goodrich for a crappy, yet financially smart five days. During those five days good things happened like, playing with Maria and Charlie, seeing my grandmother, eating HOT donuts, free food, and one of my most favorite parts, visiting Krista in Lansing.

• After returning home to Palatine on Sunday night I got up early to work another full day at the Perlman's. It was a good day. Felicia, the mom was there all day so it was good to get to know her a little. And I love the current nanny Brianna. We get along pretty well, and I really enjoy her company. We got about an hour of time just us to sit down and chat. The kids were great, and very fun. At the end of the day I got offered the position and I accepted! I will start my work with them the 4th of Dec. This means though, that I have a whole month without an significant income other than building a website for the Orchard, working a few days here and there for the Perlman's, and babysitting this weekend for Sarah's family. Although that scares the crap out of me, I know that God will provide enough for me to get by. I have confidence in that.

Today was my Sabbath day and I took advantage of it so far. I did some exploring around Palatine and got some yummy treats in celebration of getting a job. I found a bakery! I was looking for donuts, but found bread instead. It bought a delicious loaf and decided I could enjoy it longer and guilt free in comparison to the donut I was considering. I also bought a wrap for lunch! It was a Caesar wrap, just the way I like it. And I stopped at Jewel for some Naked smoothies!! I got this one called the Green Machine. It was delicious fruits like apples, kiwi, pineapple, and mango, but tucked away in it is a plethora of vegetables and you can't even taste it! I felt so proud to be drinking such a healthful treat!!

This week I am hanging out, doing some cleaning, laundry, maybe some cooking. Then Friday I am working for the Perlman's, Saturday I am working for the Wiltse's, and Sunday I am sure I'll do something exciting!

So, the main point of the story is, God has provided a job for me. It's not in the way I thought it would be, and it's going to be long hours, and a significant commute, but it is just what I need. I know it is, because if it wasn't I wouldn't have it. I will have to bust my booty to be careful and responsible and thoughtful of my finances, but in the end it will be worth it. I know I will learn a ton. I know that it won't always look at great as it does today, but I think somedays it will look even better, which makes it all worth it to endure.

Reasons for not updating/my life sucks right now with a few good parts

Ok Let's tackle this in order shall we!!

Reasons for not updating in over a week:

#1- I was embarrassed to share my pathetic news

#2- I tried to and the piece of "ess" computer deleted it


Why my Life Sucks Right Now:

#1- I am currently unemployed and living in a new city far from home with no way to pay my rent or any other bills for that matter but to go back home and work... but who wants to do that??

#2- I lost my job on what I thought was my first official day. And on top of that it was for no apparent reason. The lady said I was a wonderful person, kind and caring. She didn't give me anything I could do better. I don't really understand what happened. It sucked. Basically I think she was freaking out because she is losing her current nanny of 2 years, who knows the kids so well... She doesn't want to start over. That's the only thing I could think of. I will be curious to know how things work out for her...

#3- Did I mention I don't have a job?? Oh I did? Yeah, well... no job means nothing to do, and I can't even go and do anything because I can't spend money. I am stuck in the house or at the library all day, all by my self. And if any of you know me, you'll know that me and extended amounts of alone time aren't very good. Everyday gets harder to keep good spirits.

#4- I have to go home and work.... that sucks. It sucks because I have to leave Sarah here, and I know she doesn't want to spend the whole week alone. It sucks because I have to drive back there for working, not for fun visiting. It sucks because I'll probably have to stay there a few weeks if I don't find a job here in Palatine! AHHH!!

The Good Parts of My Life:

#1- Church! Currently I am attending Willow Creek and so far I am enjoying it. It's huge, which takes some getting used to, but they have great teaching and good programs.

#2- New friends; Through church I have met some people. I signed up for a "table" in the "Neighborhood" program at Willow. Basically, that program is trying to encourage good community. We are starting out meeting once a month and then will create Bible Studies, and then serve the community together. It sounds like a great plan and I thought I'd jump in and support it, try it out since it was just beginning last week. The people at my table were good, most were at least 18-20 years older than I, but weere still lovely for the most part. It's definitely not a place where I will be able to have a IV community feel, but still a group of people I can invest in. I will be looking for a small group aside from this as well through the 18-25yr old group called Axis at the church. Hopefully I will find something there that will fit my needs.

#3- I like Sarah. Things are really rough for both of us right now due to personal issues we both have, which makes life a challenge. Despite that though we are staying strong and supporting eachother however we can. It is good living with her.

#4- I had an interview on Monday and it went well. The family has two children; Samuel, 6 and Leah, 2.5 (pronounced like the princess). I got to meet Samuel during my interview. He is a gifted child, and in the five minutes I was with him I could tell. He said the word Bioiluminescence!!!! AHH!!! I was in awe. The exciting thing about this family is that I would get to work with Samuel on his physical and social development as he is a little behind because of his giftedness. He does lots of programs throughout the week that excite me greatly, one of which is swimming. I am spending the day with the children on this coming Tuesday. I am looking forward to it, but I am not getting my hopes up until I fill out my tax forms and write down my hire date on them!!

#5- Today is Wednesday! That means I get to sing and dance and praise Jesus at church. Willow has a Wed. night service called New community. I am excited to go! They are doing a series right now on the Holy Spirit called, Third Person. This is the second week of it and I am looking forward to the continuation!

#6- The marathon is this weekend!! That means that Sarah's sister Emily is coming, and Rebecca, and a couple of Ems friends too! Sarah and Em are running and I will be getting text message updates at every split they pass on the course! It's so exciting. We are running around the city to follow them and I am pumped!!! I can't wait to see them cross that finish line, especially Emily because this is her first marathon!! It should be an interesting weekend, that's for sure!!

Ok, that is all I have for now! I gotta get home cause Shawn is picking us up for church soon!

I miss you all very much!

All Moved In!

Ok, so I don't have much time...Here's the scoop!

I moved in on Sunday Oct. 1st with my roomie Sarah Hoover. It was a very long day, as was the day to follow. Since then though, each day has gotten better. We are all unpacked and our apartment finally looks like our home! Combining Sarah and I's belongings was easy and it's definitely a place for both of us. I like her stuff and she likes mine. I'm so glad she is my roommate. I think it is going to be a blast.

I worked two days last week for my family and I start officially on Monday. My two days last week were marvelous. My first day I was practically brought to tears because I was overfilled with joy! Philly the twin with the brain condition is the most beautiful child I have ever laid eyes on. He has the innocence of a new born. Dark blue eyes, blonde untamable hair, lovely soft fair skin... He is just a doll! I adore him. His sister Halley is great too! We went outside and picked leaves and we threw around the big ball a little in the house.

The front room is dedicated to the children and their therapies. There is a big mat on the floor with toys and activities everywhere! It is definitely a fun room and we spend a lot of time there.

I think my time at work will be very full and fast-paced which is nice. We will be going in and out of the house to therapies and appointments, when we are home we always have something for the kids to do! I am very excited to get things started and find out what a typical week looks like. I get to have a carseat in my car, which for me is a dream! Basically, I get to my a pseudo mom! It's very thrilling!

So, today I am in Fort Wayne visiting a friend for her Birthday and I will be returning home to Palatine tomorrow afternoon.

I don't have a computer right now, but I did find the library so my correspondence may be delayed, but never fear, it will still come. I am going to work really hard at staying in touch!

Talk to you all soon!!!

My Life is Unfolding

Hey!!!

So, more has happened since my last post, SO MUCH more!!!

Sunday Sarah, her sister Emily and I all went to Chicago for some apt. shopping and I had an interview. We made a stop in Kalamazoo for some church and I got to meet Catlin, Sarah's Best Friend! It was so great to meet her! After church we were on our way to Chicago. On the way I got an interview for a second family and so I had two appointments that evening for interviews.

Both went really well, but the second one was the winner. It was a family that has two toddlers, age 2 1/2... they are twins. One is a girl, Hailey, and she has midrange to normal develpment. The other, a boy named Philly, has a condition where his brain did not form all the way. He is hearing, vision, motor, and speech impaired. He is not mobile and he uses a feeding machine 3 times a day to supplement his diet that he eats by mouth. He is one of 19 children in the U.S. that have this condition.
Basically at this families house they have the hub of all therapies. All kinds of therapists (OT, PT, Speech, Vision) come in every morning and work with Philly. Basically I would be a care-giver, but I would also be a part of the therapy team. With my RT background I can provide a good service to the family and sounding board as well as learn a ton of things from these other therapists. I will get to sit right along side Philly and assist in the therapies every morning! Next school year I will attend pre-school with philly which is exciting.
Along with caring for Philly I will be taking care of Hailey as well. It should be an interesting endeavor! I am so excited to learn from the other therapists and really put into practice the things I've learned in my classes while still doing something I love in a setting I feel comfortable in.

Sarah and I found a place to live in Palatine. It's north of downtown Chicago. You can see it here: http://www.google.com/maps?f=l&hl=en&q=300+N+Brockway&ie=UTF8&near=Palatine+IL&z=9&ll=42.108411,-88.236694&spn=0.49106,1.0849&om=0
We are calling our Apt. Complex "Tony's Palace" because it doesn't have a name and Tony is the name of our landlord/manager of our building. He is a really great guy and has been very kind to us so far. We met his fiance when we signed out lease and she was very sweet.
Our Apt. is 1000 sq. ft and very affordable for the area! We really are getting a great deal. We just got new carpet and tile and soon we will get all new appliances! The outside isn't anything fancy, but its similar to what Concord apt. in Mt. Pleasant looked like, just plain brick, no balcony. they are fixing it all up though so it should be improving! I am so excited to move in and be able to have all my stuff unpacked instead of having it all shuved in the basement in boxes.

Sarah and I are moving on Sunday and I will be starting my job on Tuesday. If anyone wants to come to chicago and help me move you are all welcome!!! Or if you just want to come visit that's ok too!!!

That's all for now!! PEACE!

Chicago Update

Ok, so here's the latest...

I am going to Chicago on Sunday for an interview with one family and I am hoping to land an interview with a second by then too. The first family has two children: Ryan Danielle-3 and Owen Patrick- 15months. Their mom seemed very kind (krista, notice the descriptive word here... I almost wrote "nice") over the phone. This would be a situation where the mom works out of the home and I would take care of the kids while she is "at work". The second family is a family with 2 year old twins, one with normal development, a little girl and a boy with developmental disabilities. All I know is he is not mobile, uses a feeding tube for nurishment, and weighs 30lbs. I think it would be sweet to work for this family, so I am praying that if it's supposed to happen that the mom calls me tomorrow.

I will drive to Chicago Sunday with Sarah and her sister Emily (Emily wants to come hang out with us and see where Sarah might live). I'll drop them off to do their 14 mile run for marathon training at the park, and then head to my interview. We are staying with Shawn (Sarah's boy) for the night and then apartment hunting during the day on Monday. Pretty much is should be a sweet time. I am excited to actually look with Sarah at places instead of her driving around and me being on the phone with her.

So, if one of these families works out, I could be moving to Chicago sooner than the 2nd. AHH!! I know the family that I am interviewing with really wants someone to start right away and are willing to house me until I can find a place to live.

I am planning on going up to Mt. Pleasant this Friday night, and hopefully staying part of the day on Saturday. I am going mostly to see my friend Jonathon play football, his team is playing Mt. Pleasant that day. BUT I am also wanting to see people before I leave! I mean, I hope you can all come out and visit me, but I want to see you still! Now you all have an excuse to come to Chicago!!! AND a free place to stay! It can be like old times, everyone can come over and I'll make you things, yummy things, and we can play games!! Aww!!!

Ok, well... that's all I know for now! I'll let you all know as soon as I hear from my interview! Pray for me!! 6:00 Michigan time on Sunday!!!

Home

Here are the pictures I promised:

This is our sign out front. I like it!











One of Matilda's Kittens. This one's my favorite.









Fred enjoying some popcorn. Basically he's just huge and he has bad breath.













Fresh Donuts!!! I know, you're jealous that I am getting fat off these and you aren't!










Stewart...










The train and slide (the big red thing in back) that the kiddies play on.










The famous Honeycrisp and a view of the inside of the store. I'd like to point out the lovely sign made by Miss Krista Griffin!!









Here we have a celebrity, Mr. Bond, James Bond.











Here he is again, trying to look manly...

Are you serious??

So.... I am.... uh... moving to Chicago!!!






Crazy right??

I thought you might say that! :)

Ok, so here's the deal. Last week I applied to a place called TeacherCare. The next day they called me for a phone interview. That night I was on my way to Chicago for a face-to-face interview the next day. I got offered a position and now all I am waiting for is a placement. If you want to check out TeacherCare you can at teachercare.com. Basically, it's an agency that finds "teachers" for families in Chicago who want an alternative to daycare. Right now I am waiting to hear back from the families that I looked over and sent my information to. I am working with a great gal named Stephanie and she is working her butt off to find me a placement!

Where will I live you ask? What a good question! I will live on the north side of Chicago probably very close to Arlington Heights (where the star is on the map).

Who will I be living with?? Also a very good question. I will be living with my dear friend Sarah Hoover. We met this summer at Youth Haven. We are both really excited about the move and I think we are both a little scared too. Living with her should be really good. She is a little more familiar with Chicago than I and I am a little morefamiliar with living in the real world so we should be able to support eachother. She is really great and I'd like all of you to meet her! I think though you might have to come to Chitown to do that because of how fast the move is coming.

Which brings along my next topic... when I am moving!! I think it will be around the 2nd of October or later. The availablity of apartments looks like it will take us about that long to find a place, if not a little after that date. I will keep you all updated on my next steps.

I am very excited about this opportunity to get out there and spread my wings a little bit. It is going to be an adaventure that's for sure!!

I decided I'd put in some pictures of things around here in case some of you wonder what the Orchard looks like. This is my life for now until I leave for Chicago. I am assistant manager at the store and I am in charge of a lot of things. It's going to be hard to leave my Dad knowing that he could use the help.

Fun with Granny

I got home from work today and grandma's driveway was being redone. We walked into the house (she had been out too) and I was asking her about what they were doing to the driveway. She said plainly "They are cutting out the cracks". I said, "Cutting out the cracks?!?!" It must of been the way I said it, or perhaps the loud volume because grandma started laughing so hard! She was busting a gut, she couldn't even stand up straight! I was laughing too. She came back into the kitchen where I was and tried to start talking civily about the driveway but we both had a giggle at the tip of our tounges. She said "Haven't you noticed the cracks in our driveway?" Now, there were many men standing in the driveway and so of course my mind went straight back to where it started at the beginning of the crack joke. I tried so hard to keep a straight face, but I could do it. Grandma and I started laughing again and continued on throughout our conversation. Overall, I am pleased that my grandma still thinks about scandalous jokes that include butt cracks! It started out my evening on a good note for sure!

Other than crack jokes things here are going alright. I am missing my friends a lot, but I will get to see some soon. Monday I am going to Mt. Pleasant and Tuesday I am going to Jackson.

Yesterday I got a watch the kids and that was very enjoyable. Maria and I played games and read books. Charlie and I giggled while I tortured him with tickles and kisses. It was a pretty good day. The other night Sandy, John, the kids and I all went over to the Weil's place and played a little DDR. It was a grand event! They even made a run to Qudoba! I felt like I was at home with the randomness and of course with the DDRing. I got to show off some of my skills and cheer on the newbies. It was a great time!

I am continuing my job search. Tomorrow I'll do some faxing and more searching. I am going to try and finish up my paper too. I should be doing that instead of typing this, but you know how that goes.

That's all for now!

I am feeling highly flammable. I'm not trying to be deep here, I really am flammable. Today was my first day back at home, working for my dad until I can find another job. I had to paint our new slide with oil based paint. When I was done I had to wash the equipment and myself with gasoline cause dad said it was cheaper than using mineral spirits like the paint can said to do. Basically I was a walking hazard. I took a shower, but my skin still reeks of gas smell. Something new everyday around here... I wonder what danger I'll be in tomorrow. I don't know what is much worse than the danger of having ones skin burnt off! Anyway, my dad is paying me well and I am being provided for and so for that I grateful.

So, some of you are probably wondering about my life. Well, it's been an interesting few weeks since summer has been over. I've been doing a lot of heavy lifting, painting, throwing things in the dumpster, cleaning, eating out, hopping from house to house. Overall it's been exciting, but many parts have been bittersweet. I've had to say goodbye to a lot of friends. It's crazy to think I won't be spending my everyday with my dear friends from Youth Haven. I miss all of them already and a couple I've only been away from for a day.

My plans for now are to stay here with my grandma while working for my dad until I can find a job somewhere else. I am looking into moving away with a friend... maybe to Chicago! It would be totally sweet if that worked out so I am praying for doors to open. This next week I will be finishing up my internship responsibilities by finishing my paper. As of Sept. 11th I will be done with my life at CMU and moving on to my adult life post-CMU. It seems weird to be moving away from that life, but I think I am ready. God has been preparing me for something to come. I can't wait to see what it is! I am so excited to do something sweet for Jesus.

Overall life is very transitional. It don't feel it's neither here nor there. I can say the past couple weeks with friends has been invaluable and I will treasure that time always.

So my friends, that is all for now. I will be sure to update with new news as soon as I get some!!

The beginning of Their Life Together Has Begun

Well, Jessica and James are officially married and are now on their honeymoon in Niagara Falls.

The weddings day was great. Jess looked so beautiful and James so handsome. The ceremony fit them well, and the reception did too. Very classy and well put together. Everything went pretty smoothly except for the part where Jess's Dad stepped on her train and ripped it off right as we were getting ready to walk in. It was a definite moment of panick, but luckily the wedding coordinator (Carmen-- the pastors wife) saved the day.

Megan was at the reception which was fun. We had a really good time dancing the night away. I went to Megan's mom's house that night to sleep. It was nice to catch up with her and to see Jeff too.

Sunday Krista came to visit and we had a wonderful time, even if it was short. It was so good to look at her face again... aww! We went out to Arby's for dinner and then had ice cream and a meeting with my family for her ministry with IV next year. It was hard to say goodbye to her, but we set up another date for us to get together soon! A whole day of fiendishness!!

This week is our last week of summer camp. We have the teens this week until Wednesday and then Clean-up until Friday. After that I will hopefully be helping people pack up and move to their new locations. I am looking forward to helping, although I will miss my friends very much when we all leave this place. The are precious to me and I don't want to lose them.

OK, well... Archery is in 30 minutes! WOOT! It should be a great time. I'll update soon hopefully about the rest of my week.

BUB dudes!

The Ongoing Wedding Update

I will be updating as things happen today just because I can!

Last night we had the bridal party party and rehearsal dinner. The girls went for manicures while the guys went out to the movies. It was a good time. After that we went to the church for the reahearsal.

Adrian and I are walking down the isle together which is very exciting. We wanted to walk arm-in-arm, but the pastor convinced J&J that we shouldn't. He thought it would look funny. I'm still bitter. Why are people so stupid about things?? Anyway, we are walking side-by-side now because according to the pastor it looks "more attractive" that way. Let's just say Adrian and I have an ongoing joke under our breath about how attractive we look. hee hee...

After the rehearsal we went to Cranberries to eat some delicious dinner! I ate myself sick, as did everyone. We had Spinach Dip, warm bread, as well as fried pickles and mushrooms for appetizers. I had fish for dinner.... and Adrian and I had Truffle Cake for desert!!! OOOO!!! It was sooo good!

Adrian and I went to Ann Arbor to pick up her boyfriend Dan. We got back at almost 1:00. I went to bed and didn't realize it was morning until 8:00. It was wonderful!!!! SCORE!!! I had weird dreams, but it was so restful at the same time.

This morning we all got up and had Baked French Toast, bacon and sausage. Now James and his Dad are jamming in the livingroom. It feels so good to be around good random music. I miss jamming with friends.

Soon it will be time to take a shower and go to the salon to get our hair done. I am very excited for the day. I want to make it fun and giggle a lot!

I was dreading coming home, but so far things are going exceptionally well and I am enjoying myself very much. I am still wondering how camp is. This morning the kids are going home, so I am thinking of everyone during dismissal.

More on the wedding later!!!

List of Things that Make me Smile

I was inspired by my dear Krista to make a list of things that make me smile. She said to do 10 things, but I just kept on going!!

--giving a massage
--playing with peoples hair
--washing a dirty dish
--playing with a dog's ears
--squeezing my boyfriend pillow
--laughing until it hurts
--playing on a playground
--riding way too long on a bike
--getting my skin tickle scratched...mmm...
--eating ice cream
--worshiping with my hands up tears streaming down my face and grooving to the tunes
--seeing someone I love succeed/perform
--Being totally obnoxious at the right moments
--new socks
--helping people just the way they need it
--long tight hugs
--snuggling during a nap
--smelling and kissing a babies head
--holding hands
--cooking with a friend
--letting people be Skippy of the Bo
--studying the Bible with a friend/group
--photo shoots
--spontaneously breaking out in song and dance
--kisses
--peanut butter M&Ms
--Google searching
--walking on the beach and feeling how soft my feet are afterwards
--playing in the rain
--Mom G's chocolate chip oatmeal and Christmas cookies
--talking on the phone for hours about nothing and everything all at once
--Caesar pitas from Pita Pit
--hand massages
--smacking butts
--driving with the windows open and music pumping, especially at intersections
--road trips
--Cedar Campus
--wrapping up in a blanket and squeezing my boyfriend pillow

South Haven and Friends

Last weekend I went to Kalamazoo to visit my dear friends Jessica and James. They are getting ready for their wedding. When I saw them they were on day 13 of the countdown and it is now day 8 of the countdown!! WOOT WOOT!! I am so excited I get to share in this joyous event with them! Yay for marriage!

Here are some pictures of our trip to South Haven last Sunday afternoon:

This is me floating away in a large cement pipe

Jessica and I under the metal thingy

Me holding an orange rock

The three of us enjoying the beach and each other's company.

One Lump or Two

It's questions like these that get my mind spinning... and of course I have not the time to explain... perhaps later... or if it rains.

Life Before Youth Haven

This morning I woke up and remembered that my life didn't start on May 17th when I arrived here at Youth Haven Ranch. I have a whole life behind me, a whole set of friends and experiences that in the midst of camp I had forgotten existed. I may not have forgotten completely, but the details were blurry and fading. This morning though it all came flooding back to me.

I miss you my dear friends. I was reading some letters and notes from you and it made me long to see your faces. Luckily this weekend some of us will be re-united once again. I want to know how you are doing and what you are doing, and I want to laugh with you and be dumb together.

Megan, I miss you. I miss our Thursdays. I miss cooking and eating with you and Jeff. I miss sitting on the couch together, the three of us, all cuddled together in one spot when there is room enough for all of us to sprawl out. I miss the way you smell, and the comfort of looking into your eyes; eyes that have seen me at my best and worst, that know me so well I don't have to speak a word to communicate.

Jess Relitz I miss you too. I want to come see you soon! I want to embrace! hee hee

Sara Monson, I miss spending time with you, and I miss knowing what you are doing.

Joylynn, I miss making you giggle, and listening to you sing... oh how your voice melts me.

Amber, dude.... I need you... and I need to stay up late with you and talk about nothing and everything at the same time.

Krista, I miss getting my butt whooped in skippy.

Kristin, I miss talking to you online and distracting you from the things you should be doing, including sleep.

Michelle, I miss sharing my fluffy bed with you, and making you laugh so hard you convulse.

Tricia, where are you?? I miss our dinners and random drop-ins.

J-Garv, I miss playing the bongos with you.

Nicko, I miss your pimp self.

Sarahhh, I miss living with you. How's China?

Lisa, I miss your playful nature and oogling boys with you... lol

Johnson Man, I miss your 1800's ways.

Annie, I miss making you blush.

Brandon, I miss hearing about the weather.

Erin, I miss your voice and our lunch dates.

Lauren, I miss your sarcasm and studying the Bible with you.

Josh, I miss the way you talk and your guitar playing.

Brian, I miss making you wraps.

Rob, I miss our hang-out time.

Laura, I miss being your roomie, watching movies, getting our fortune told by the red fish, and you sticking your hand on my seat right before I sit down.

For everyone else in my life I miss you too. I just keep coming up with people, but I have to go and do Archery with one of the teams so I have not time to feature you all here. You are in my heart though, and I am thinking of you today.

Today is a funny day here at camp. We have a short week at camp this week and so today is a combination of what we do on Wednesdays and Thursdays. All-camp will be really good because we will have team-leader hunt, the kids love it and the team-leaders do too. Then tonight we will be doing Skit Night. That is usually pretty fun as well. I am praying for a good day!

Ok my litt froo-froos. I adore you and cherish you all!

The Begining of the End

This morning is the begining of the end of WEEK 4! That's the halfway mark! This week was intense, really really intense!

The kids leave soon! I'll update more after they are gone!!!

Week 3

Today is the beginning of week 3 of summer camp. I'm finally feeling comfortable in knowing what to generally expect for the week. We had weather to deal with last week, so now I know how things go with that issue. We had naughty children to talk to on day 1 last week. I am starting to see the importance of my role here, especially in discipline and supporting the team leaders. I am praying that this week goes much smoother and that the team leaders don't have breakdowns or freak outs.

Just like I learned last year with InterVarsity, prayer has to be HUGE here. It is such a battle ground here around the grounds and in each individual. Good things are happening here and Satan is ticked off. We had a lot of children running up to us so excited that they had ask Jesus to be ruler over their life, it was astounding! I loved it, to see the pride and joy in their faces and knowing that there was a party in heaven. So many of them were so happy to be part of a family and be able to call us brother and sister. The faith of a child is certainly something to learn from and hold on to.

This weekend was pretty good for me. I went on a 20+ mile bike ride with Rebecca, Carrie, and Donnalee. It was so beautiful and just the right temperature. Even though we got lost and had to ride up a million hills it was worth it! I stayed at Rebeccas that night after a dip in the pool. Yesterday a bunch of us went to church, and God really spoke to me there.

I feel like it's a similar vibe that I got from God last time I wrote. I feel like God was telling me to hold tight to Him. I really feel like if I am going to do the work and serve God in the ways He has built me to serve that I need more reliance on Him. I need to be clinging to His Word and His passion for the hurting and lost. So often my heart breaks for people, but I forget that God's heart must be breaking a million times more. I want to take those times when my heart breaks and turn them into times of service and prayer instead of mourning and sadness. Jesus came for the hurting and weak, the discouraged and downtrodden. I too will serve those around me who are in need. I will serve them, but I have to make sure I am looking to God first! Only He can be my guide, and I long so much to be guided by God.

So.... that was Sunday morning. after that Rebecca and I did our laundry at the mat, and got quesadilla stuff for lunch. We made our delicious lunch and talked for a while. I went back to my cabin and started cleaning. Then I went to the pool and hung out, took a power-nap on the picnic table, went out to the Fort where everyone was having a cook-out, prayed for this week with Jen and Anna, then returned to Rebeccas for what was supposed to be a movie, but turned into talking. I went to bed and stayed in bed until 9:00, usually I can't stay in bed past 7 or 8. It was, as my Sarah would say, GLORIOUS!!!

And now, my dearest of dears I must go. In 15 minutes my week officially starts and I think I need to take a few deep breaths in preparation. Hopefully I'll get to keep updating regularly! Leave me comments so I know you are reading!

BUB!

Another Day

Today is another day, it's similar to the day before in that the Sun came up, and we are doing the same things we did yesterday here at camp, but it feels different. I feel much, much better than I did yesterday.

Every time I start focusing on myself I lose sight of my real purpose. I know I feel called to be a strong support of the people here, but sometimes I just feel tired and worn and down. All I want is for some one to hold me and take care of me. Thankfully yesterday God was like "Dude, it's not about what you want... even if someone held you all day long and gave you kisses, told you how valuable you are it would only be a temporary fix. I am your real fix, I am the one who will fulfill you." I was like "Crap! I know! Sorry God, that was loserish of me."

I think everyday this issue will be a struggle: me trying to find the love I think I want, or deserve, or long for only to be dissapointed by people and realize I was looking in the wrong place. I think God gives us all people, but He gives us Himself first. I need to remember that!

Sorry for being so deep, it's just what I am thinking about this week. I feel like I am rambling on, so I am going to stop now before I get every one confused, myself included!

To all my friends: I love and cherish you. I miss you while I am here and I think of you often. I am praying for you. I have to go to the Zipline now, I'll pray for you while I am catching little children!! :)

STUCK

Have you ever felt so stuck in something that you can't even see any hint of another thing for miles in any direction?

That's what I feel like today. I feel surrounded by a darkness, like a black storm cloud. Every time I try to poke my head out, I just move into another foggy black cloud, just the same as the one before. I am searching for a ray of light, and sometimes I think I get a glimpse, only to have it snagged away and I'm back wading through the heavy darkness once again. It's so thick that it's hard to breathe, it's hard to think, and hard to keep my eyes open. This darkness feels impenetrable. I feel as if I am sinking into quick sand and the more I struggle to get out the deeper it takes me in. I hate this feeling! UGH! I just want it to go away. Please, Jesus make it stop! Be my light! Take me out of the quick sand with a really big stick or something! ANYTHING! I want out!

And that my friends is how I really feel today.

New Things

I am doing some new things this week, things I've never done before and it's very exciting!

First of all I am feeling much better than I have in about 4 months! It's totally amazing. When I wake up in the morning I actually WANT to get out of bed instead of feeling exhausted overwhelmed, and ill. I didn't even realize it until today. I'm sure glad I feel better, I was worried there for a while! Thank you to all who have been praying about my health! It's working! WOOT WOOT!! YAY JESUS!

This week is our first week of children at the ranch. So far it's going really well. At times I don't feel confident, but as the week goes on I am getting the hang of things. The staff that I work most closely with are really great and I have been enjoying working right along side them. The kids are great too, I've had a few problem children, but for the most part my talking to them ends on a positive note.

Tonight we have skit night, tomorrow is the carnival and then Saturday the kids go home. I think I will always remember these first kids and this first week. I have already learned so much from them and from watching my co-workers interact with them. There are times that I am so so tired, but the joy of seeing these children grow and be stretched and experience real love really overcomes all that. Hopefully this joy can last all summer! :)

Let's see... anything else new in my life?? YES! I am offically moved out of my apt. in Mt. Pleasant as of last Saturday. It was a long long day with only my dad and I moving all my stuff. I wanted to just throw it all away instead of move it. I'm sure I'll be glad I have it once I move out on my own again... whenever that will be I don't know. I think I am hoping more for sooner than later. I just love having my own place; cooking, cleaning, my fluffly bed, walking around naked, having people over, reading a book on my lumpy and gross couch... I miss it all.

I think that's about all the important new news. I could go on for hours about details of camp and my visit home with the kids, but frankly I just don't have enough time! I'd love some calls from all of you, or an e-mail or something. I've heard from some of you, but I am longing to know how you are doing!!! So either get a blog and update it or call me yo! lol don't call me "yo", just call me. hee hee

Ok, so I gotta go for real! Hope to see some of you soon! Maybe sooner than the Wowzer wedding!

Amber, I was thinking about you today. I miss you a million! I want to squeeze you!
I miss everyone else too!!
Shout out to my out of state cuties! *Snuggle Snuggle*

I'll end with this poem for my new friend:

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
Sarah Hoover, you're my friend
I love you!!

THE END.

CFW/ Summer Kick-off!!

CFW was pretty sweet. Of course, Cedar Campus is beautiful, so that enhanced the week even more. It rained a little, but we did have some good sunny days in the begining of the week.

This year I worked on crew. It gave me quite a different experience than I am used to with InterVarsity events. I worked on a playground they are making on Mariners Cove side. I got to work with power tools like saws, a router, a sander, and screw-drivers and stuff. It was pretty darn sweet. Here is where you can see the plans of what it is supposed to look like when it's finished: http://www.intervarsity.org/cedar/news.php?id=2298.
At the end of the week, I worked on the Pool house; taking out the old filter, installing insulation, and general clean-up. On my last day I went out to the trails with the fellas and helped clear a path and put down limestone for the ski trails. It was pretty windy, but enjoyable just the same. I really had a great week, full of good food, hard work, a few naps, a sweet massage, a lovely gift, lots of outside time, a sunburn, Skip-bo, awesome worship, tons of prayer, a frustrating/meaningful team-builder, pranks, and good networking... oh and not to mention a great road-trip and stop at a restaurant (2P)!!! It was definitely a great last CFW for me. I will keep it close to my heart always.

Today is my first day at my internship. I am very much looking forward to the summer. I moved my stuff in, and I am excited to pimp-out my "living space". I am going to make the most of that 5ish sq. ft!!!! I already have the tallest bed, so it can't get much better than that! I'll post pictures soon if I get a chance.

If anyone would like to write to me here is my address:

P.O. Box 97
Rives Junction MI, 49277

I also enjoy e-mails and facebook messages!!!

Here are a few pics from CFW







Awww!! Me and my Amber

These are my really hott pajamas. We are powering-up the glow-in-the-dark feature!

I got the watch and Nick doesn't have the time, or a calculator!

Kristin looks too natural in that mustache!

Me and the girls, my frist time on the BEAR!

Summer Goals

OK, so in my Turbo Kick class we were encouraged to set some goals for ourselves for the summer time. At Midterms we set one goal, one thing that we'd like to change. My goal was to not buy junk food from the grocery store and to eat fruit first if I wanted a snack and then if I was still hungry I could have something else. It worked out pretty well, so I am excited for these new goals!

Janet (my instructor and pretty much the coolest kid I know), explained that wellness has 6 demensions; physical, intellectual, occupational, emotional, social, and spiritual. All of these elements compliment eachother and have to work together to acheive true wellness. She said to think of it as a wheel, all the parts come together to work just as a wheel should running smoothly and quietly along a path. If one demension is weakened then the wheel will lose air making for a very bumpy and uncomfortable ride.

So that being said, hear are the things I am going to do/keep in mind this summer as I try to make my wheel run smoothly. Some of these things are new things that I need to start doing and some are old things I just need to keep up on that I at times let slide.

Physical

Engage in 30 minutes of rigorous activity daily

Stretch to stay flexible

Do a zillion cruches every night to gain the abs of my dreams!

Watch my caloric intake as well as the quality of foods I am eating

Intellectual

Read at least one chapter dailyof the Bible

Read at least one chapter daily of a book for pleasure

Engage in mind strengthing/logic games weekly such as Soduko

Occupational

Meet all goals for my internship going above and beyond when possible

Finish my BIG paper on time and with excellent quality

Emotional

Take time to myself weekly to do something I enjoy

Identify a person on camp grounds that I can confide in during times of trial and stress

Social

Reach out and make new friends, having me be the one who is inviting and warm

Keep in touch with CMU/IV/family/everyone over the summer regualrly either through snail-mail, e-mail, or phone

Spiritual

Find a church in my summer location that I can be fed by

Give my 1st and last word to God EVERYDAY!

Spend time in silence/meditation listening, praising, learning, just engaging with God daily

Ok, so that's it! Those are my goals. Some of them are going to be really hard! I am starting today with a work out at the SAC!!! YES!!! Then I'll come home for some delicious lunch! I am packing today for my departure of this wonderful town. I need to figure out what I need for Cedar, what I need for camp, and hopefully everything else will fit into the boxes I have... if not I might have to start giving things away!! hee hee

The sunshine today is making me happy, and feeling productive. I think I'll open the windows and blast my music when I get home! YES!!! AND I am so excited to start wearing shorts!! SCORE!

Darn My Human Heart!

Why is it, that when everything's going just fine, I find a way to screw it all up with a stupid comment from the depths of my pathetic soul?

Seriously, why do our minds and hearts work the way they do, and how is it that when you are hoping to not screw things up in an important and fragile relationship that one manages to say something idiotic to throw things off balance?

OR, how is it that the one who says something stupid thinks that everything is screwed up, it's all doomed and then the other one says, "It's ok, no biggie" AH! How does that happen, forgiveness when it's not due, a smooth and untainted reaction to what could potentially be a disaster.

For real, how is one to know which scenario will occur at any given moment?

I suppose this is just the reason that one should always be thinking before they speak, because it's not worth saying something stupid and maybe hurting someone, or just sounding rediculous.

GAH! I think I should run away to another country, I feel that will solve all of life's stresses, worries, problems, and crap like that. I'll just run! That's Healthy, just run far away! heh...

A Visitor!!

I had a very special visitor this weekend! it was my brother! He came on Friday, went to Open House, helped with Servant Day, went to church this morning, and basically just hung out and chilled out all weekend with me! It was so great to have him here. I am taking him half-way home where my dad will pick him up at the "Flying J". I wish he could just stay here a little longer. I like him.

In other news, I am in a very thoughtful mood today. I find myself evaluating my life so often, and mostly evaluating my interactions with friends. People are so interesting, and it intruiges me to observe patterns in behavior and reactions between friends and couples. I find it interesting that people know the cover-ups that others use and are hurt or annoyed by them, but still use ones that are similar or the same themselves, as if it were normal... hmmm... I just don't know. People are weird-- myself included.

Here's a question: What's one of the best things a friend has done for you?

I value most the time that people have spent with me, just to spend it with me... It was becuase they enjoyed me and wanted to spend time with me! I love having that person that I can spend days on end with and it feels right, and then when both of are ready for some space it's right in tune with the other. It doesn't happen often, but when it does it's so fulfilling!

Here are some pics from the weekend!!



Here's the Whole Groups being funny after lunch on Saturday















I told Krista to hop into my arms...

Michelle and Lauren at the last Open House!

I'm giving Amber a Ride

Awww!!!

This is Ryanne, she... I mean he is very special!

The Semester is Almost Over/ Baby Charlie Photos

I can't fathom what the next few weeks will look like. I just can't imagine! The year has gone by so fast, and yet seemed to go on and on at times. So weird... now that the end is near I have no idea how I got here.

As I prepare for the end of the school year I am also preparing for my last semester with student status, my last 15 weeks to make stupid mistakes and they'll be excused because I am a college student! I better make all the ones I've been holding off on pretty quick here!!

Soon I'll be packing up all of my things and saying goodbye to my lovely apartment while saying hello to my small probably over-heated, possibly cramped quarters at Youth Haven Ranch in Rives Junction Michigan. I am so looking forward to my summer there. This will be my internship/summer job before I am sent off into the "real world" to be a "real adult". I must say that being a student in bliss!! I wish I could do it forever... on the other hand I don't want to go to grad school.

If you'd like to see where I am going this summer you can visit www.youthhaven.org

If you'd like to see more photos of my easter and the new baby you can visit www.dropshots.com

If you would like to own a really sweet T-shirt go here: http://www.cafepress.com/buy/you+don

I think I am going to go now, I am distracted from my journaling with good conversations. I'm going to miss my friends when they move!!!

PS. I think that I did "the craziest thing I've ever done" last night!! YES!!! I am ready for more exciting adventures now!!

Here are pics of the baby and little Maria:

This is my baby boy Charles Edward... he is very squishy... and yes, I'm calling him fat! lol

Here you can see his kissable cheek! He is still fuzzy and soft cause he's so fresh! Only 5 days old in this picture

He loves sleeping in his boppy pillow
Maria is coloring eggs for the first time, she had a really great time!

Maria likes looking right into the camera, she knows what it's all about... little ham!!
Maria loves balloons, except for when she freaks out because they scare her... very strange but true. I think watching a balloon be blown up freaks her out, but if they are already inflated they are harmless. She is wearing her Easter dress here. We got to spend a lot of good time together which I enjoyed very much!!

PEACE!

Grandma

WOW!! The past two hours was filled with very serious and intense conversations with my grandmother... I feel very tired now.

Some of the topics included:

Heaven
Living Simply
Grandma's Will
The partnership with her and my dad at the orchard being dissolved
My Aunts spending habits
Tiddly Winks
The jewelry that I used to play dress-up with when I was little
Cookies

Easter Dinner choices

Internship

Summer Weddings

WOW!! And that's just a pinch of the randomness that I just experienced!!

Now I have to go and get pizza. I'll update about the rest of my weekend later, hopefully with pics!!

More Pictures!!

The Ultimate Twister Match... it lasted FOREVER!!

The Finals!!

AWW!!!

This was a pretty dirty match... biting and everything!!

We're Happy!!!


Monkey Hat!!!

Again with the Ants!

AHHH!! More ants came from somewhere in my belongings or my pants, shoes... somwhere... I think it's a sign, I just don't know what it means!!

I am feeling deep today... contemplating my life, God, and everything else inbetween. What keeps me going and what stops me from going? What are my desires, my dreams, and what are fleeting thoughts?

I want to be a faithful servant of my Lord, I want to be where I am supposed to be, say what He would have me say, do what God would have me do... I am trying to find the ideal in these situations.

E-mail

I am certain that the e-mailing adventure boosted my productivity 3fold! I got stuff done on that day's list and the next day's list! It rocked!! YAY for e-mail!!

In other news I am still searching for an internship with two major leads; SpringHill and Youth Haven Ranch. I think both places would provide me with good opportunities and both are also Christian organizations, which is just what I am looking for to test out mixing my major with full-time ministry. I am excited to see where this will go. I finally feel motivated to figure out my life and it feels great. I am not longer running from the inevitable, but running towards a great opportunity to finish my degree and serve children.

I am currently reading two very enjoyable books. One is The Magician's Nephew and the other is Glass Castle. One is a children's novel as many of you may well know that is the prequel to The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe. The other is a New York Times best seller, a memoir by a lady with a screwed up childhood. It's comforting to read about suffering at times to know that I haven't seen the most screwed up things there are to see, and to know I am not alone with family disfunction. I would recommend both for your leisure time!

Well, I am going to go now; I was supposed to get off the internet about 30 minutes ago, I can't help it, I'm hooked! Hope all is well in all of your worlds!!

Bread in My Pocket

Yesterday it was ants in my pants, today I have bread in my pocket. I find myself sitting very carefully as to not squish it and make a crumby and buttery mess. I have it wrapped in a napkin, and I am just too full to eat it.

Anyway, on to something more important... maybe...

Today I am going to buy a few things: socks, a journal (spiral bound to put all my journal posts and greeting cards in, face wash, and perhaps a book of sudoku puzzles or something else exciting for my brain.

I think this weekend I am going to clean out my car, and my room. I will give away a bunch of clothes that I am attatched to, yet am not wearing which should slim down my closet! I am trying to get rid of as much unneeded items as possible before I have to move out in May. I want my life to be more simple and less full of junk I don't need.

I sent myself an e-mail asking if I did all the stuff I wanted to get done today. There's nothing like being your own friend for accountability!! I wish Jesus used e-mail, it would help me out!! So, I am testing the theory that if I think about checking my e-mail all the time, a reminder there will certainly help me get things done... we shall see!

Have a Good Day!

Ants in My Pants

OK! FOR REAL!! I think I have ants in my pants!!!

I was sitting at Bible Study eating a cookie when an ant crawled across my lap. I didn't think too much of it because as many of us know, the Larzy TV room is infested with all sorts of unwanted guests. Soon after this another ant crawled across my lap and I started to get itchy. Ew... I still attributed the ant to the room and moved on... When the third one came along I was really started to question. I finished up Bible Study and forgot all about it until just now. I was in the bathroom minding my own business when all of a sudden an ant crawls across the floor by my feet. AHHH!!! What the heck! Where are these ants coming from? I'm infested! I am all itchy and squirmy now. Is this a plague?? I hope not! I would much rather have frogs! ew.. Gosh, I feel gross!

Moving on... I was originally going to title this entry "A New Look", but the ant issue got precedence. I am trying out this new template for my blog. It was pink for a few days, but I decided it was too pink. Now it's blue... I wish there was a happy medium between these two gender related colors... I guess that would be purple, but I didn't see any purple ones and I don't know how to make it myself. Anyway, don't be surprised if I change it five more times.

So I guess I should update on my life...hmm...

It's going. I have no desire to finish my life in the direction it's currently headed technically, although I am enthused about what God has ahead of me for my far off future. I don't think I ever imagined I'd live past the age of 22 so I didn't think about planning or even fathoming my current life stage, which is internship, then graduation, then job. I think I just assumed I'd get in some car accident, be murdered, or get leukemia. I'm not saying this light-heartedly either, I really think these things.

So, now I have a predicament. I am 22 and I am still living... Now what?!? My life has pretty much been the same other than thinking of that big question.

I did however have a sweet day on the 18th for Krista's birthday! It will definitely be a day to remember when I am old and gray.... If I make it that long ;) We had a whole Birthday Day for her! Pizza, Gymnastics, Ultimate Frisbee, Dinner at the Broadway Grille, and a Twister Tournament. It was so great to be with friends, be outside and play, eat good food, and sport some school spirit while flirting with the T-shirt guy with Krista. Man, he was good looking. Way to score his love B-day star! How could he resist?? The day ended the next day at oh, I don't know... too early to mention. It was definitely rough to get up for church in the morning.

My life will probably continue just the same, hopefully my working out will do me some good, and some cool stuff with IV will happen. I'd like to find my internship VERY soon as well.

I'm signing off for now, catch ya all later!

PS. I still feel itchy

PPS. My cat that I high-lighted in a December post is now dead. She died yesterday.
RIP Blossom, you were a good cat, except for when you bit me... I will always have the scar to remember you by.

CRAP!!!

I had a really good post and then it erased because of pop-up blocker and me trying to fix it! UGH!!!

What a crappy crap crap!

ok, so here's the short of it:

I'm home, and there is drama... what's new... I'm in the middle... yuck

Maria is awesome, learning so much, so adorable

Matilda is big a fluffy now

Spent time with the following people: Grandma, Sandy, John, Maria, Dad, Dee, Joe, GUMC choir, GRandma Noll, other Noll affiliates :) and talked to mom on phone

Plans for tomorrow:

Going to oxford to check out place for internship, light window-shopping and grocery shopping with Gram, Card Club for snacks and friends, then staying at sandy's

Looking forward to getting back to the place that feels like my real home, where I feel comfortable and part of something good, more than one good thing actually.

Wanting to talk to my fiendish fiend cause she always knows what to say to make my life seem less jumbled.

Still mad about the stupid entry getting deleted! PIECE OF JUNK!

NEW STUFF NOT INCLUDED ON OLD DELTED ENRTY... couldn't help myself, when I get started I just can't stop!

I realized a new appreciation I have for survivor tonight. Tears came to my eyes (mind you I just typed ears instead of eyes...lol), when they Saluted Dan after getting voted off. That's not my appreciation though. My appreciation is that one can really examine how the game goes and compare it to normal society and how people function. No matter if it's a game or not no one can seem to just walk all over everyone involved, there are always friendships, aliances, and other relationships blooming even in the midst of lies and deception. People seem to need community, or a partner that much that it interferes with winning. I'm still thinking this through, but I think this says a lot about peoples' need for community, acceptance, support, and confidence in normal everyday cirsumstances. So, yay Survivor!

There is some shampoo-in hair color sitting on the shelf and I am very tempted to use it. It says "Just for Men" on the box and that's what intriuges me. Could it really be that different for men? I have short hair, does that count?? It's so very tempting... It says "So natural no one can tell" on the box too. Now let me ask you, why on earth would you want to color your hair if no one is going to notice?? That's silly. It should say, "so natural it doesn't look fake" if that's what they mean. Knowing this country though that phrase is probably already tradmarked! Did you know that Happy Birthday is Copywrited?? Yeah, and it's not even by the person who wrote it! How dumb eh? That's why at restaurants they have to sing those annoying songs, their not aloud to just sing happy birthday! dumb dumb dumb I tell you.

Ok, I have added enough to make it seem worth trying to publish again. If this screws up I swear I'm just going to write two words, "CRAP CRAP" on the next one!

A Month...

Well, it's been just about a month since the last time I updated. Todays update is really just an outlashing of my emotional staus, which until today I thought was fine... maybe it's just a bad day, or maybe everything has just added up and I can't contain the fire.


**Note: The following chunk is me free-writing, do not be surprised if you find yourself shaking your head, thinking I'm irrational, or wondering if I am ok... This is the real me put out on the web, the real things I am thinking and feeling... as scary as they may sound, I'm not crazy, just desperate**
At this moment I want to throw in the towel... I can't go on. How am I supposed to figure out what I am to do with my summer let alone my life?? I'm in the wrong profession, wearing the wrong clothes, the wrong hair style, the wrong place and time, everything seems wrong. I am lost at what my role is in many situations that feel so big that they may crush me and more importantly the main players in said situations. I feel alone. I could talk to someone, but they won't care, and if they do care, they won't do anything, and if they would do anything they don't have time. My friends are good, but I don't have a clue on how to ask for their help. I feel like from some of them I'll know their answer, others I am afraid of their answer, and still others I don't know if they'd even answer. I want to run far away and live in a place where things don't happen like they do in America. I am stuck on so many questions.... like, Who and where is my spectrum of influence, how can I balance being in communion with God while in community with people, why does everyone always give me the crap line of "Just rely on God first, the rest will fall into place" ?? OK, I do believe that, but it seems like people use it as an excuse to not have to care. And how does the fact that God made us, designed us for community, to do all things together, have everything in common and sacrifice as the other has need? Other questions I want answers to: Why can't I do anything for myself, but I can do things for others, why do I feel lonely when I am sitting right next to a person I love, How do I embrace friendships the way God intends it? And, why do i live here, here in America? What does that mean for who I am to be for Christ? Oh, and why does everything seem complete, good, fruitful and glorious when I am doing it with a partner or group? I can't sleep, and I am starting to lose my appetite. I am scared to sleep because when I do I have horrible nightmares. I can't eat because I feel nausiated when I do. I want to live a full, productive, God glorifying life. God is teaching me so much right now. I want to take it all and put it into action. I really feel though that I can't do it alone, I can't just take control of all the "adult" responsibilities on my own and still have any motivation for living for God. It's all too much. Why is it too much?? That makes me feel lame! I need a friend, a friend that I can atleast count on to support me through all of this, not that I have to spend 5 hours a day with them, but to know that someone cares enough and wants the same from me, or at least feels comforted at the prospect of my willingness to serve and love them. I know I've had this before, but now it's gone. When I had it I was so much better at life. I was fun to be around, I was joyful, and fulfilled... Am I just being a sissy or are these feelings valid. It seems like the people who give me the advice of Rely on Only God and then he will bless you with people already have people... and I don't know that they relied on God first. UGH! I have so many things to do and I want to do them, but the practical things in my life get in the way.

This is Joshua 1:9 --- Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
Boy do I ever need that verse right now. I am so terrified of living right now. And I most definitely need God with me where I go!

God, give me the strength to face the things that I need to, the things that suck and the things that are wonderful, even if it seems like I am doing them alone. I want to rely on you, and I have been, but maybe not enough... Let me not be jealous or covet what other people have in relationships, but rejoice in what I have with you. And, please bring me someone to satisfy these longings, these needs if it is your will. God I want to be awesome for you, but that task seems to huge for me to even think about. God shape me, hold me, use me! amen.

Giggle Pants

Hi. I am not really giggling, but I feel like it would be funny if I were. So, lets just pretend.

This week has been pretty full. My life doesn't seem too hectic, it's on the line of having just enough, or not enough to do. I still have to find more work somewhere, hopefully at the Res. Restaurants. I am looking for another 10+ hours somewhere!!! :)

So far I am enjoying my food service jobs. Tues. and Thurs. I made Wraps in Robinson, and Today in Carey I swept, stocked, and served (there wasn't really anything for me to do so I kept getting switched around). Later this evening I am working in Merill... where I will clean some more. I have a blister on my thumb from the two hours of sweeping I did. Other than the blister this week has been GREAT! I love making food and serving people!!! I met knew friends, and got free meals! YAY!

Now I am headed home for some cleaning, packing, and showering... I am very dirty. Tonight I am going to Grass Lake for a retreat with IV. It used to be called Genesis, but now it is called Sanctuary. I am looking forward to getting closer to my small group, and catching up with other friends that I haven't really talked to yet this semester. I hear there is a pool and hot tub at the conference center, so I am very excited!!!

Last weekend I did the Leadership Summit, and it went really well! The speakers were enlightening, and I got to meet some good people, specifically middle-aged married men. I got to know the pastor more and it was really inspiring to hear some of his passions and convictions in a more personal setting. The biggest thing I took away from the weekend was this; I am OK where I am... being that I am in a point in my life where I don't know what the heck is ahead of me. I have a blank piece of paper in front of me and I can do so many things with it. The key to staying on the right path is looking to God for guidance, keeping Him as my light and my path maker, and submitting to him some of my wishes if need be. I felt very encouraged to use my open-mind about my future to the best of my ability to give God the most glory!!! YAY for affirmation!!! Thanks Jesus!

Ok, so now I am going to go home and do all of my stuff before my next shift!

Peanut Butter Toast

Hi everyone!!!

So, lately I have been wanting peanut butter toast about 5 times a day. Maybe it's working at the daycare and rediscovering my love for peanut butter and jelly. Maybe I just need some nuts in my life! Who knows... all I know is I like it, I like it a lot.

So, my job search continues, but I have made some headway. So far I am employed in five different places, three of them being in the Residential Restaurants on campus. I wish I could get a higher paying job somewhere, but this is going to have to work for now. I still haven't heard from the church about the position I applied for because they haven't done anything about it yet. It is somewhat frustraing, but perhaps God is trying to teach me something!

So, back to my jobs. They are as follows; Day Care worker Mon. and Wed., Day Care Aide Mon., Tues. and every other Sun. night, Baker Assistant (Krista, I had to hold myself from laughing when I signed up for this one) every other Friday morning, Dining room worker every other Friday lunchtime, Custodial work Every other Friday evening, Exposition person Tuesday and Thursday lunch time, not to mention two shifts I've already picked up for greeter and variable in Carey Dining commons. For those of you familiar with CMU I am working in Robinson, Towers and Merrill Dining Commons!! WOOT! Basically I am all over the place. My task now is to not mess up when I work where!!

So now that I will have 44-54ish hours of obligatedwork time per week, plus whatever shifts I pick up on top of that, and the four hours of class every week, I'll have to make sure to have some fun with the free time I have !!! Man-oh-man! The craziness of it all!

Other than working and trying to find jobs, I have been working on finances, organizing my life, cleaning, going to church and InterVarsity, hanging out with friends, and playing on the internet. It's acctually been a nice start to the semester. My palm pilot and I have become good friends and will continue to be over the next 15 weeks!

Next on my plate is to get my student loan, hopefully a scholarship or two, and find a second internship!! I want my internship to be somewhere totally sweet, so that's what I'll be looking for.

Photos from my birthday dinner will be coming soon. Here is a picture of my baby puppy "Storm"(I might change her name). I will get her once I live in a place where I can have a doggie. She is very small and cute and soft.



This is Storm showing you her good side!




These are 3/4 of the babies, Storm is on the left.




This is Storm Sleeping... zzz...




This is Princess, Storms Mom riding on the Mini-chopper!!




A close-up with her hott goggles!!




This is Spike, Storms Daddy. He is trying to look
handsome and thoughtful

So, that's my life minus my birthday pictures with some added doggy fun!

Oh yeah! This weekend I am doing a conference at church called Leadership Summit. Bill Hybels, who wrote Too Busy Not to Pray (a brilliant book) is speaking tonight. Tomorrow, John Maxwell, Ken Blanchard, my pastor, and Rick Warren, author of Purpose Driven Life are all speaking! I am looking forward to getting a spiritual boost as well as learn some sweet stuff from smart people! Hopefully I'll see some friends and make some new ones! YESSS!!!

Have a GREAT weekend!!!