Today is the beginning of week 3 of summer camp. I'm finally feeling comfortable in knowing what to generally expect for the week. We had weather to deal with last week, so now I know how things go with that issue. We had naughty children to talk to on day 1 last week. I am starting to see the importance of my role here, especially in discipline and supporting the team leaders. I am praying that this week goes much smoother and that the team leaders don't have breakdowns or freak outs.
Just like I learned last year with InterVarsity, prayer has to be HUGE here. It is such a battle ground here around the grounds and in each individual. Good things are happening here and Satan is ticked off. We had a lot of children running up to us so excited that they had ask Jesus to be ruler over their life, it was astounding! I loved it, to see the pride and joy in their faces and knowing that there was a party in heaven. So many of them were so happy to be part of a family and be able to call us brother and sister. The faith of a child is certainly something to learn from and hold on to.
This weekend was pretty good for me. I went on a 20+ mile bike ride with Rebecca, Carrie, and Donnalee. It was so beautiful and just the right temperature. Even though we got lost and had to ride up a million hills it was worth it! I stayed at Rebeccas that night after a dip in the pool. Yesterday a bunch of us went to church, and God really spoke to me there.
I feel like it's a similar vibe that I got from God last time I wrote. I feel like God was telling me to hold tight to Him. I really feel like if I am going to do the work and serve God in the ways He has built me to serve that I need more reliance on Him. I need to be clinging to His Word and His passion for the hurting and lost. So often my heart breaks for people, but I forget that God's heart must be breaking a million times more. I want to take those times when my heart breaks and turn them into times of service and prayer instead of mourning and sadness. Jesus came for the hurting and weak, the discouraged and downtrodden. I too will serve those around me who are in need. I will serve them, but I have to make sure I am looking to God first! Only He can be my guide, and I long so much to be guided by God.
So.... that was Sunday morning. after that Rebecca and I did our laundry at the mat, and got quesadilla stuff for lunch. We made our delicious lunch and talked for a while. I went back to my cabin and started cleaning. Then I went to the pool and hung out, took a power-nap on the picnic table, went out to the Fort where everyone was having a cook-out, prayed for this week with Jen and Anna, then returned to Rebeccas for what was supposed to be a movie, but turned into talking. I went to bed and stayed in bed until 9:00, usually I can't stay in bed past 7 or 8. It was, as my Sarah would say, GLORIOUS!!!
And now, my dearest of dears I must go. In 15 minutes my week officially starts and I think I need to take a few deep breaths in preparation. Hopefully I'll get to keep updating regularly! Leave me comments so I know you are reading!
BUB!
Monday, June 26, 2006
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Another Day
Today is another day, it's similar to the day before in that the Sun came up, and we are doing the same things we did yesterday here at camp, but it feels different. I feel much, much better than I did yesterday.
Every time I start focusing on myself I lose sight of my real purpose. I know I feel called to be a strong support of the people here, but sometimes I just feel tired and worn and down. All I want is for some one to hold me and take care of me. Thankfully yesterday God was like "Dude, it's not about what you want... even if someone held you all day long and gave you kisses, told you how valuable you are it would only be a temporary fix. I am your real fix, I am the one who will fulfill you." I was like "Crap! I know! Sorry God, that was loserish of me."
I think everyday this issue will be a struggle: me trying to find the love I think I want, or deserve, or long for only to be dissapointed by people and realize I was looking in the wrong place. I think God gives us all people, but He gives us Himself first. I need to remember that!
Sorry for being so deep, it's just what I am thinking about this week. I feel like I am rambling on, so I am going to stop now before I get every one confused, myself included!
To all my friends: I love and cherish you. I miss you while I am here and I think of you often. I am praying for you. I have to go to the Zipline now, I'll pray for you while I am catching little children!! :)
Every time I start focusing on myself I lose sight of my real purpose. I know I feel called to be a strong support of the people here, but sometimes I just feel tired and worn and down. All I want is for some one to hold me and take care of me. Thankfully yesterday God was like "Dude, it's not about what you want... even if someone held you all day long and gave you kisses, told you how valuable you are it would only be a temporary fix. I am your real fix, I am the one who will fulfill you." I was like "Crap! I know! Sorry God, that was loserish of me."
I think everyday this issue will be a struggle: me trying to find the love I think I want, or deserve, or long for only to be dissapointed by people and realize I was looking in the wrong place. I think God gives us all people, but He gives us Himself first. I need to remember that!
Sorry for being so deep, it's just what I am thinking about this week. I feel like I am rambling on, so I am going to stop now before I get every one confused, myself included!
To all my friends: I love and cherish you. I miss you while I am here and I think of you often. I am praying for you. I have to go to the Zipline now, I'll pray for you while I am catching little children!! :)
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
STUCK
Have you ever felt so stuck in something that you can't even see any hint of another thing for miles in any direction?
That's what I feel like today. I feel surrounded by a darkness, like a black storm cloud. Every time I try to poke my head out, I just move into another foggy black cloud, just the same as the one before. I am searching for a ray of light, and sometimes I think I get a glimpse, only to have it snagged away and I'm back wading through the heavy darkness once again. It's so thick that it's hard to breathe, it's hard to think, and hard to keep my eyes open. This darkness feels impenetrable. I feel as if I am sinking into quick sand and the more I struggle to get out the deeper it takes me in. I hate this feeling! UGH! I just want it to go away. Please, Jesus make it stop! Be my light! Take me out of the quick sand with a really big stick or something! ANYTHING! I want out!
And that my friends is how I really feel today.
That's what I feel like today. I feel surrounded by a darkness, like a black storm cloud. Every time I try to poke my head out, I just move into another foggy black cloud, just the same as the one before. I am searching for a ray of light, and sometimes I think I get a glimpse, only to have it snagged away and I'm back wading through the heavy darkness once again. It's so thick that it's hard to breathe, it's hard to think, and hard to keep my eyes open. This darkness feels impenetrable. I feel as if I am sinking into quick sand and the more I struggle to get out the deeper it takes me in. I hate this feeling! UGH! I just want it to go away. Please, Jesus make it stop! Be my light! Take me out of the quick sand with a really big stick or something! ANYTHING! I want out!
And that my friends is how I really feel today.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
New Things
I am doing some new things this week, things I've never done before and it's very exciting!
First of all I am feeling much better than I have in about 4 months! It's totally amazing. When I wake up in the morning I actually WANT to get out of bed instead of feeling exhausted overwhelmed, and ill. I didn't even realize it until today. I'm sure glad I feel better, I was worried there for a while! Thank you to all who have been praying about my health! It's working! WOOT WOOT!! YAY JESUS!
This week is our first week of children at the ranch. So far it's going really well. At times I don't feel confident, but as the week goes on I am getting the hang of things. The staff that I work most closely with are really great and I have been enjoying working right along side them. The kids are great too, I've had a few problem children, but for the most part my talking to them ends on a positive note.
Tonight we have skit night, tomorrow is the carnival and then Saturday the kids go home. I think I will always remember these first kids and this first week. I have already learned so much from them and from watching my co-workers interact with them. There are times that I am so so tired, but the joy of seeing these children grow and be stretched and experience real love really overcomes all that. Hopefully this joy can last all summer! :)
Let's see... anything else new in my life?? YES! I am offically moved out of my apt. in Mt. Pleasant as of last Saturday. It was a long long day with only my dad and I moving all my stuff. I wanted to just throw it all away instead of move it. I'm sure I'll be glad I have it once I move out on my own again... whenever that will be I don't know. I think I am hoping more for sooner than later. I just love having my own place; cooking, cleaning, my fluffly bed, walking around naked, having people over, reading a book on my lumpy and gross couch... I miss it all.
I think that's about all the important new news. I could go on for hours about details of camp and my visit home with the kids, but frankly I just don't have enough time! I'd love some calls from all of you, or an e-mail or something. I've heard from some of you, but I am longing to know how you are doing!!! So either get a blog and update it or call me yo! lol don't call me "yo", just call me. hee hee
Ok, so I gotta go for real! Hope to see some of you soon! Maybe sooner than the Wowzer wedding!
Amber, I was thinking about you today. I miss you a million! I want to squeeze you!
I miss everyone else too!!
Shout out to my out of state cuties! *Snuggle Snuggle*
I'll end with this poem for my new friend:
Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
Sarah Hoover, you're my friend
I love you!!
THE END.
First of all I am feeling much better than I have in about 4 months! It's totally amazing. When I wake up in the morning I actually WANT to get out of bed instead of feeling exhausted overwhelmed, and ill. I didn't even realize it until today. I'm sure glad I feel better, I was worried there for a while! Thank you to all who have been praying about my health! It's working! WOOT WOOT!! YAY JESUS!
This week is our first week of children at the ranch. So far it's going really well. At times I don't feel confident, but as the week goes on I am getting the hang of things. The staff that I work most closely with are really great and I have been enjoying working right along side them. The kids are great too, I've had a few problem children, but for the most part my talking to them ends on a positive note.
Tonight we have skit night, tomorrow is the carnival and then Saturday the kids go home. I think I will always remember these first kids and this first week. I have already learned so much from them and from watching my co-workers interact with them. There are times that I am so so tired, but the joy of seeing these children grow and be stretched and experience real love really overcomes all that. Hopefully this joy can last all summer! :)
Let's see... anything else new in my life?? YES! I am offically moved out of my apt. in Mt. Pleasant as of last Saturday. It was a long long day with only my dad and I moving all my stuff. I wanted to just throw it all away instead of move it. I'm sure I'll be glad I have it once I move out on my own again... whenever that will be I don't know. I think I am hoping more for sooner than later. I just love having my own place; cooking, cleaning, my fluffly bed, walking around naked, having people over, reading a book on my lumpy and gross couch... I miss it all.
I think that's about all the important new news. I could go on for hours about details of camp and my visit home with the kids, but frankly I just don't have enough time! I'd love some calls from all of you, or an e-mail or something. I've heard from some of you, but I am longing to know how you are doing!!! So either get a blog and update it or call me yo! lol don't call me "yo", just call me. hee hee
Ok, so I gotta go for real! Hope to see some of you soon! Maybe sooner than the Wowzer wedding!
Amber, I was thinking about you today. I miss you a million! I want to squeeze you!
I miss everyone else too!!
Shout out to my out of state cuties! *Snuggle Snuggle*
I'll end with this poem for my new friend:
Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
Sarah Hoover, you're my friend
I love you!!
THE END.
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