The Big Blue Cow

Friends I have a problem.

You see, I have this big blue cow sitting in my living room. She insists that she is Babe, the big blue Ox, but I am quite certain she is a cow. How do you tell a cow who thinks she's an ox that it's not true? And this babe imposter... She keeps doing things that make me want to ask her to leave my living room.
Like yesterday, I have told this, this uh...We'll call her "the cow". Anyway, I have told the cow to not put her dirty dishes on my couch, but she keeps doing it! AND the other day I caught her putting her utter right on my clean laundry!!! When I confronted her about it, she simply stated that that's what Oxes like her do, and I should appreciate her species. Well, I'll tell you what, I like oxes a whole bunch, but the blueish heifer needs to realize that there are more people in the world than her species! Oh and get this, right after the utter incident, I saw her hitting on my dream boy. What man would want to date a cow who claims to be BABE!?! Good thing my dream man isn't Paul Bunion, he might have fell for it.
So friends I need some help. How do you deal with a Blue Cow, who is big who keeps calling herself an ox and expects me just to live with her dirty utters on my clean clothes???

And with that I am off do do my laundry again for the seventh time this hour to try and keep it clean. Maybe I'll hide it so the cow formerly known as ox won't be able to find it! I'll be as pink as a biscuit if I go down without my garden ho!!

Btw, everything is good with me. I have work tonight at 5 until 9. Oh subway, how I adore thee. I will probably spend my day doing laundry like I said earlier and perhaps unpacking like I said I would a few days ago. My room is a mess. I am thinking of rearranging it, but I am not quite sure. hmmm... things that make you go hmmm...