SCARED

I am so scared right now. I wish I could say it was a thunderstorm, or the dark, or shadows that I am convinced are monsters when really they're the trees outside.

I am scared of tomorrow. I don't want to do this alone and I feel so alone. At this point my sickness could be anything and by tomorrow I'll know if it's something I have been fearing for a long time, or something I can take an antibiotic, a few days of rest and be back to normal in no time.

I don't know what kinds of tests the doctor will do, I don't know how long it will take to get the results back, I don't know if I'll have to go to another doctor to get answers.

I am thirteen hours away from either dispelling my "silly fear" or making some of my worst nightmares come true.

My fear may be irrational, may be unwaranted, may seem rediculous... but I have been sick for a month, that's gotta make one worry.

I feel exhausted and restless all at once.

I am going to watch a movie with my grandma to try and help get my mind off things.

Thank you to everyone who has been so good to me through all this ickyness of me being sick, thank you for being concerned, encouraging, patient, kind, and for checking up on me. I appreciate it more than you know.

And to my friends on the bus; Tricia, Nick, and Michelle: Talking to you three tonight helped me feel better and more loved. Kristin, talking to you made me think about something exciting and beyond the world of me, thank you for calling me.

NEW POST

Hi.

Well, to spare everyone from my true life I feel I should make up a new one... one that is as romantic, spontaneous and lovely as Joy's. But I will continue on with my own, which is pretty sweet anyway.

The past month here at school has been interesting, challenging, fun, as well as a less emphasized, but very present crappy due to being sick.

I started my internship, and as many of you who talk to me regularly know, I love it. I am making meaningful relationships with my co-workers, and creating wonderful bonds with my residents. Unlike the other staff, I as an intern, work both 1st and sencond floor. The rest of the recreation staff are assigned to just one floor. This makes for two things: more to remember, and more people to care for.

I like getting to know the residents, talking to them, and wheeling them around in their chairs. I have many stories if anyone cares to hear them, and I might just tell you even if you don't. heh.

Just today I had to go in to talk to a new lady and fill out an Activity Assesment where I ask an individual about their interests or things they'd like to be involved in. When I went in and asked the lady how she was doing she replied, "Well, I had a throwing up session right after therapy, and then I went to something else and they brought me back here and I just had another throwing up session." She tells me this while holding a puke container, luckily it was not used yet. The whole time I was praying that she didn't puke on me. :)


Other than my internship and a month long sickness that I am going to the doctor about on Monday and will fill you in on later, my life has been full of friends, IV, TV, and more IV. :) I am the large group coordinator this year, which is something I've never done before, but am enjoying flying by the seat of my pants for now.

I am going home this weekend and I get to see my family and my Sandy, and my baby, ohhh and the BELLY!!! For those of you who don't know Sandy is pregnant again! I think it's a boy. I can't wait to get home to squeeze everyone.

Now it is time for... da da da DAH!!! That's right MORE IV!!! Tonight is fun-night for open house and we're going to deerfield park! WOOT WOOT!!