I don't feel like writing, but didn't want to leave my audience hanging in the wind.
I have work tonight from 11pm-9am and I am not allowed to sleep!!! WEEEEEE!!!
My heart hurts a little bit today. I think I need a good QT!!!
Talk at ya lata!
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Hey Hey Hey
Hi everyone. I am here at the library on this very hot day. This morning I watched the Price is Right with Krista... well, we were both watching it in out respective locations and talking on the phone. It was very enjoyable. For those of you who don't know, Krista and I are going to Cali. July 12th and will be gone for 8 days!!! CRAAAZZY COOL I tell you! We are studying up for our big debut on THE PRICE IS RIGHT!!! That is if we even get in to the taping, and then happen to get on as contestants! We are going to make T-shirts and everything! Any ideas for what we should put on them?
Today has started out to be a good day. I thought of Laura as I ate two toaster strudels for lunch! Now all I need is some shrimp and waffles and I'll be set!! Oh and maybe some NACHO CHEESE! I even thought of eating my lst ice cream treat for lunch too, but I refrained.
I have a presentation in my English class today. I am teaching about in-text citation MLA style. It's not very exciting, but my group is great. We hung out last night at Dorothy's (where I babysit) and ate pizza. We get along very well, which makes the class enjoyable for us. I think most of the favorites in the class are in our group so that's kinda fun. We try to decide who the teacher loves most! hee hee
Update on Gramps:
Last weekend was very difficult as we had to make decisions about grandpa's care for the future. His hospital stay was up as he ran out of insurance money to cover it, and so he needed to be moved. There were a few different options, but our family, with the help of a few winks from grandpa decided hospice was the best choice.
I feel relieved that the whole family talked and prayed together and that my grandfather was consulted about this whole thing. It was important to me to have everyone on the same page communicating exactly what they thought was best. I think I was the only one who realized what was acctualy happening to gramps. It was difficult to see my family come to realize where things were headed.
Grandpa has about 6-8 weeks left tops. Depending on what kind of care plan the hospice staff decides on will determine how much longer he will live. There is discussion to not use the 6 doses of antibiotics that he has been getting, or to only put them into his feeding tube instead of by IV. Also, it was mentioned that they may not use his feeding tube all together. The goal at hospice is quality of life. My grandpa will be made as comfortable as possible for the remainder of his days. If they stop antibiotics and the feeding tube it could be just a matter of days. He would get drugs so he didn't feel hungry and would recieve artificial hydration (basically using an IV or nose tube that provides fluids). As soon as I know the details I will post them. I tried to find out before I wrote this, but couldn't get ahold of anyone.
Overall I think this is a good choice for grandpa and my family. My grandma was taking it pretty hard after hearing the word "hospice", but after visiting the facility with her and seeing the relief on her face and in her posture when seeing friends of the family volunteering there, I think things will be really good. They set up a cot right next to grandpas bed so the two of them can be right next to eachother all night. The environment there is so pleasant and these people really know what they are doing.
It is kinda scary to know that his death could really come anytime now, but I am so happy his suffering here on earth is almost over. There is so much good for him to look forward to. When we were talking to him Saturday about how he wasn't going to get better, and how the end was near, he cried. My dad told him that we just want him to be happy and that soon he would get to go to heaven. I told him that we'd be up there right after him! We all cried together that day holding grandpa in our hands. This has been an interesting, testing, intense, hard, joyful, bonding, contemplative, slap-in-the-face sort of experience so far. I know that the next few weeks are going to be even more of all of those things I mentioned. Going through this is definitley growing and stretching me. Without God I'd be lost right now.
Today has started out to be a good day. I thought of Laura as I ate two toaster strudels for lunch! Now all I need is some shrimp and waffles and I'll be set!! Oh and maybe some NACHO CHEESE! I even thought of eating my lst ice cream treat for lunch too, but I refrained.
I have a presentation in my English class today. I am teaching about in-text citation MLA style. It's not very exciting, but my group is great. We hung out last night at Dorothy's (where I babysit) and ate pizza. We get along very well, which makes the class enjoyable for us. I think most of the favorites in the class are in our group so that's kinda fun. We try to decide who the teacher loves most! hee hee
Update on Gramps:
Last weekend was very difficult as we had to make decisions about grandpa's care for the future. His hospital stay was up as he ran out of insurance money to cover it, and so he needed to be moved. There were a few different options, but our family, with the help of a few winks from grandpa decided hospice was the best choice.
I feel relieved that the whole family talked and prayed together and that my grandfather was consulted about this whole thing. It was important to me to have everyone on the same page communicating exactly what they thought was best. I think I was the only one who realized what was acctualy happening to gramps. It was difficult to see my family come to realize where things were headed.
Grandpa has about 6-8 weeks left tops. Depending on what kind of care plan the hospice staff decides on will determine how much longer he will live. There is discussion to not use the 6 doses of antibiotics that he has been getting, or to only put them into his feeding tube instead of by IV. Also, it was mentioned that they may not use his feeding tube all together. The goal at hospice is quality of life. My grandpa will be made as comfortable as possible for the remainder of his days. If they stop antibiotics and the feeding tube it could be just a matter of days. He would get drugs so he didn't feel hungry and would recieve artificial hydration (basically using an IV or nose tube that provides fluids). As soon as I know the details I will post them. I tried to find out before I wrote this, but couldn't get ahold of anyone.
Overall I think this is a good choice for grandpa and my family. My grandma was taking it pretty hard after hearing the word "hospice", but after visiting the facility with her and seeing the relief on her face and in her posture when seeing friends of the family volunteering there, I think things will be really good. They set up a cot right next to grandpas bed so the two of them can be right next to eachother all night. The environment there is so pleasant and these people really know what they are doing.
It is kinda scary to know that his death could really come anytime now, but I am so happy his suffering here on earth is almost over. There is so much good for him to look forward to. When we were talking to him Saturday about how he wasn't going to get better, and how the end was near, he cried. My dad told him that we just want him to be happy and that soon he would get to go to heaven. I told him that we'd be up there right after him! We all cried together that day holding grandpa in our hands. This has been an interesting, testing, intense, hard, joyful, bonding, contemplative, slap-in-the-face sort of experience so far. I know that the next few weeks are going to be even more of all of those things I mentioned. Going through this is definitley growing and stretching me. Without God I'd be lost right now.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Let's Never Rollerblade again OK?? OK.
So, today I had to rollerblade to the library because I was late for class... I was early, but then Heather couldn't get my car started because of my weird key-not-going-in-the-hole issue and she needed to go to work. I walked home and decided I should hurry back and use my rollerblades to speed up the process. Well... that was a big mistake.
On the way home I had a tragic rollerblading accident!!! I was going too fast and couldn't stop. CRASH BANG BOOM!!! I was on the ground my purse was under me filled with odds and ends that were very hard. I shot back up and looked around making sure no one saw me. Then I almost fell back down because the wind kinda got knocked out of me. All I could say was "Oh, crap!". It hurt so badly, but I tried to shake it off.
The pain kept getting worse so I went to the ER. It was quite anti-climatic as Krista said when conveying the story to her, and they sent me home with some motrin. I am just glad I am not broken or cracked.
So now, I am not going to be rollerblading anytime soon. I think I am going to go home and eat some ice cream and go to bed.
On the way home I had a tragic rollerblading accident!!! I was going too fast and couldn't stop. CRASH BANG BOOM!!! I was on the ground my purse was under me filled with odds and ends that were very hard. I shot back up and looked around making sure no one saw me. Then I almost fell back down because the wind kinda got knocked out of me. All I could say was "Oh, crap!". It hurt so badly, but I tried to shake it off.
The pain kept getting worse so I went to the ER. It was quite anti-climatic as Krista said when conveying the story to her, and they sent me home with some motrin. I am just glad I am not broken or cracked.
So now, I am not going to be rollerblading anytime soon. I think I am going to go home and eat some ice cream and go to bed.
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Random Fun in Clare
So, yesterday I was in class and I got a call from Michelle. I sent her to my voicemail, because... well, I was in class! At the break I decided to call her and see what was up. She was like "well, just wanted to see if you were bored and if you wanted to come to Clare and chill and ride bikes around town". I was like "CHA!! OF COURSE!!"
After class I went home and grab some tennis shoes and then was off to good ol' Clare. I had never really been there before so it was an adventure from the start. When I got to this guy Erics house I was met at the door by his adorable mother wearing an apron! hee hee.
I made two new friends (Kim and Eric), got to catch up with Michelle a little, had a greatcurry chicken dinner, ate a delicious cup of jello with coolwhip on top, rode around Clare on bikes, went into a funny western shop, rode the rail trails for 10 miles, and got to learn about specialty bikes. It was a really great time.
It was so cool how we all just hung out and it was like we were always friends. Kim and Eric knew eachother previously, but Michelle and I just met him that day. Eric showed us pictures of a trip the family took to India where Erics dad lived for eigtht years as a boy because his parents were missionaries. Dude, it was so cool!
Kim and Michelle stopped by my new place on their way home and chilled on my fluffy bed for a while. I read them funny stories and fed them swiss chocolate!!
It was a wonderful afternoon/evening. YAY for random fun!! I love it!!!
After class I went home and grab some tennis shoes and then was off to good ol' Clare. I had never really been there before so it was an adventure from the start. When I got to this guy Erics house I was met at the door by his adorable mother wearing an apron! hee hee.
I made two new friends (Kim and Eric), got to catch up with Michelle a little, had a greatcurry chicken dinner, ate a delicious cup of jello with coolwhip on top, rode around Clare on bikes, went into a funny western shop, rode the rail trails for 10 miles, and got to learn about specialty bikes. It was a really great time.
It was so cool how we all just hung out and it was like we were always friends. Kim and Eric knew eachother previously, but Michelle and I just met him that day. Eric showed us pictures of a trip the family took to India where Erics dad lived for eigtht years as a boy because his parents were missionaries. Dude, it was so cool!
Kim and Michelle stopped by my new place on their way home and chilled on my fluffy bed for a while. I read them funny stories and fed them swiss chocolate!!
It was a wonderful afternoon/evening. YAY for random fun!! I love it!!!
Monday, May 30, 2005
Back to the Grind
I am back in Mt. Pleasant today (got back last night for babysitting). Spent the holiday in bed with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling very good today so I slept a lot. I watched two movies and went to the grocery store for milk, bagels, cream cheese, and a frozen treat... all of which were on sale I might add. I am going to try and make that my grocery trip for this week and next. We'll see if it works!!
Luckily the computer lab was open today so I had an excuse to get out of the house. I rollerbladed a little bit earlier today, but on a beautiful day like today it's hard to just sit around. I did have time to do some reading for class and a little personal reading and reflection however, which was much needed and very enjoyable.
When I left last night from Sandy's it was very hard. I wanted nothing more than to stay and cuddle with her and the baby. My visits there seem so short, and Sandy and I don't get much together time because of trying to get things done and being distracted by the little cutie. We did get to chat about important things for a while yesterday and Friday she stayed up a little later than usual because she wanted me to play with her hair. That was nice. My time with Maria is so precious to me. I eat up every moment. We are developing such a bond. We are learning how to communicate with each other and play. Anyway, she is really great.
Tomorrow is class, and a meeting with a lady at work. I am going to try and figure out why I am not getting any hours! I have another paper to start this week for class. Should be pretty interesting. I think I am going to write about WalMart! Such controversy, so exciting!
I'll see all you crazy kids later!
Luckily the computer lab was open today so I had an excuse to get out of the house. I rollerbladed a little bit earlier today, but on a beautiful day like today it's hard to just sit around. I did have time to do some reading for class and a little personal reading and reflection however, which was much needed and very enjoyable.
When I left last night from Sandy's it was very hard. I wanted nothing more than to stay and cuddle with her and the baby. My visits there seem so short, and Sandy and I don't get much together time because of trying to get things done and being distracted by the little cutie. We did get to chat about important things for a while yesterday and Friday she stayed up a little later than usual because she wanted me to play with her hair. That was nice. My time with Maria is so precious to me. I eat up every moment. We are developing such a bond. We are learning how to communicate with each other and play. Anyway, she is really great.
Tomorrow is class, and a meeting with a lady at work. I am going to try and figure out why I am not getting any hours! I have another paper to start this week for class. Should be pretty interesting. I think I am going to write about WalMart! Such controversy, so exciting!
I'll see all you crazy kids later!
Saturday, May 28, 2005
What if it was important??
Today I was at the hospital with my grandpa today. I was there for a good 7.5 hours. Grandma and I spent the whole day together chatting and enjoying each others company. I always like spending time with her, especially one on one.
While my grandma was at lunch, I was standing next to my grandpa for a while. During that time a doctor came in and was trying to see if he was disorientated and asked him who I was. I know grandpa knew because of the way he looked at me, but he didn't have enough motor control to say my name. After the doctor left I told him that I knew he knew who I was and it was ok that he couldn't say it. I reassured him I could tell he was trying to make the 'L' sound by the way he was moving his tongue. He kinda looked at me like, "yeah, I was!". He then looked at me like he had something to tell me. He just kept staring at me, and then at the ceiling, trying to concentrate so hard to try and communicate a word, or words... I stood there for a while patiently waiting for something to happen, a sound, a word so I could fill in the blank... anything. All he could do was stare at the ceiling.
What if he had to tell me something important? What if it was a piece of advice that I'd wish I'd had? What if he just wanted to say I love you!! Man, that was hard. I wanted to cry. I had to go and ask the nurse for a drink so that I didn't cry in front of him. I didn't want him to see that I was upset. I know it sucks for him to be in the postion he's in. He can barely tell us yes or no sometimes. It hurts so much to look into his eyes. I see so much pain and distress. He has beautiful eyes. Bright and light blue they are so stunning. They are eyes that can be trusted; loving, kind, and gentle eyes. I love him, I really do... it is so hard to see him suffering in so many ways. Today was hard for me. I cried a lot. And so did grandma.
I am here at home for another day, and then it's back up to Mt. Pleasant. I am hoping to spend some time with Megan this week. I have another paper due for my Eng. class and a lot of reading to do. I am still not working in the way I thought I would be by now. I have had one shift, and another one to come on Saturday. I am so confused because I was under the impression that I could work 40 hours a week. I am going to have to do some inquiring to see what exactly is going on.
I miss you all my friends. I would love nothing more to be spending time with some of you, being crazy, and having a blast.
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Wedding Bells
Yesterday was Megan and Jeff's wedding day. It was a gorgeous day outside and in! The decorations were divine, and the ceremony was perfect. The reception was filled with good music, great friends, a bustle broken by a little girl (don't worry I fixed it!), yummy food, a romantic dance, plenty of laughs, reunions, and a birthday cake too!!
The time before the wedding I ran around communicating between bride, groom, officiant, and families. It was pretty fun, I love stuff like that. Everything ran very smoothly.
The ceremony was just perfect for the two of them! Everything was done with such quality, especially the music and dance. Yesterday truly was a celebration of the two of them.
When they left the church I helped Megan and Jeff unload their gifts and wished them a happy honeymoon. Then I got to my car and realized I forgot my keys! I almost just walked home and waited for them to call me later (partly because I was scared they would be naked already based on a story I heard earlier that day, but more because I knew how much they wanted to relax). They were so happy to just be together; alone without people being weird to them, or taking their picture, I didn't want to be a lame-o. I decided that I might as well just interrupt their togetherness now instead of later. We all laughed when I came back, and I got to wish them a second goodbye! :)
I just looked down the street (I am in the extended hours study) and saw Megan and Jeff pick up Jeff's car! They are off for their honeymoon on Mackinac Island! Lots of fun and fudge to come!!!
Today at church we had a great service! We learned about conflict and how to deal with it. If anyone wants to hear the sermon it's at mpcc.org... Probably will be posted within the week. The things Pastor Scott had to say were very valuable and applicable! Then after that couples in the church who had already gone through a special packet on their own were invited to come up on stage and renew their vows. It was so great! They all looked at each other with sincere love. The sparks were flying!!!
Joylyn and her new man Thor came to stay with me last night after the wedding. We went to Doozies, watched Shrek 2 and Joy and I had girl talk in my room until late. It was so great to be able to catch up, and just talk like we used to! Thor is great too! He was a very gentlemanly, considerate fello.
Today I am studying, eating a yummy leftover lunch, possibly napping, maybe watching a movie later with Jes and Natalie, and generally relaxing!!! Ah! It feels so good to have a day of rest!
PEACE!
The time before the wedding I ran around communicating between bride, groom, officiant, and families. It was pretty fun, I love stuff like that. Everything ran very smoothly.
The ceremony was just perfect for the two of them! Everything was done with such quality, especially the music and dance. Yesterday truly was a celebration of the two of them.
When they left the church I helped Megan and Jeff unload their gifts and wished them a happy honeymoon. Then I got to my car and realized I forgot my keys! I almost just walked home and waited for them to call me later (partly because I was scared they would be naked already based on a story I heard earlier that day, but more because I knew how much they wanted to relax). They were so happy to just be together; alone without people being weird to them, or taking their picture, I didn't want to be a lame-o. I decided that I might as well just interrupt their togetherness now instead of later. We all laughed when I came back, and I got to wish them a second goodbye! :)
I just looked down the street (I am in the extended hours study) and saw Megan and Jeff pick up Jeff's car! They are off for their honeymoon on Mackinac Island! Lots of fun and fudge to come!!!
Today at church we had a great service! We learned about conflict and how to deal with it. If anyone wants to hear the sermon it's at mpcc.org... Probably will be posted within the week. The things Pastor Scott had to say were very valuable and applicable! Then after that couples in the church who had already gone through a special packet on their own were invited to come up on stage and renew their vows. It was so great! They all looked at each other with sincere love. The sparks were flying!!!
Joylyn and her new man Thor came to stay with me last night after the wedding. We went to Doozies, watched Shrek 2 and Joy and I had girl talk in my room until late. It was so great to be able to catch up, and just talk like we used to! Thor is great too! He was a very gentlemanly, considerate fello.
Today I am studying, eating a yummy leftover lunch, possibly napping, maybe watching a movie later with Jes and Natalie, and generally relaxing!!! Ah! It feels so good to have a day of rest!
PEACE!
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
More Drama?!?!?!
Apparently my step-mother over-exaggerated what I said to her making me sound way more nasty than I really was. She told my dad that I said "You are nothing to me. And I don't want to be here because you are here", along with some other things that weren't at all what I said. UGH! I explained to my dad what really happened and he was ok with it. He knows she takes everything I say too far, and over reacts to the things I say. It made me feel a lot better to know he understood. Oh, and I guess that angry stare she gave me was her way of "Staying clear of me"... I am not sure how that's going to solve anything, and neither is my dad, but I guess I'll just be extra polite and gracious the next time I see her. This whole Step-mom thing is so weird! I hope that time will make things better. Anyway, enough of that...
So, lately I have been really into reading my friend Rebecca's Mom's web journal. Rebecca's mom (Pam or Pammy) has a form of leukemia. I found out about this a while ago, and ever since I have been checking up regularly on the status of things. She writes everyday, or has someone else write for her if she is too weak. I got to see pictures of her "Birthday" (The day she got a bone marrow transplant). It is so amazing to be able to read what she goes through everyday. I'd recommend this to everyone who has an illness like this. It makes it easy to look back on things, and also makes it easy for others to check up on you.
The most amazing part though, is seeing how much Rebecca's faith has grown. For a while I was concerned that she had dropped God and was on her own path... not a path to horrible things, but a path that was not God's. Seeing the way she writes for her mom, and even a previous website that updated things before Pam went into the hospital has shown me how dependent on God Rebecca has become. It makes me just filled with joy and excitement to see this happening! the way she talks about God, His faithfulness, and the power of prayer truly gets me excited. Man, it's soooo COOL! WOOT WOOT!!!
I have also decided to pick up something I started a long time ago: Dream journaling. I am not doing it for any other reason other than that it's so funny/interesting to look back and see how ridiculous they are. I had a dream this morning that I have to journal still... I think I am going to entitle it "Mopey". If you really want to know who Mopey is (yes it is a character in my dream), you'll have to ask the next time you see me. I also have a dream in there from a long time ago titled: David Hasselhoff and the End of the World. LOL Going back and reading them I can remember exactly what the dream was, it is really neat.
That's all my thoughts for now. I have work tonight, which is a nice bit of unexpected income! God is good! All the time, all the time He is good!!! I love that song!!!
So, lately I have been really into reading my friend Rebecca's Mom's web journal. Rebecca's mom (Pam or Pammy) has a form of leukemia. I found out about this a while ago, and ever since I have been checking up regularly on the status of things. She writes everyday, or has someone else write for her if she is too weak. I got to see pictures of her "Birthday" (The day she got a bone marrow transplant). It is so amazing to be able to read what she goes through everyday. I'd recommend this to everyone who has an illness like this. It makes it easy to look back on things, and also makes it easy for others to check up on you.
The most amazing part though, is seeing how much Rebecca's faith has grown. For a while I was concerned that she had dropped God and was on her own path... not a path to horrible things, but a path that was not God's. Seeing the way she writes for her mom, and even a previous website that updated things before Pam went into the hospital has shown me how dependent on God Rebecca has become. It makes me just filled with joy and excitement to see this happening! the way she talks about God, His faithfulness, and the power of prayer truly gets me excited. Man, it's soooo COOL! WOOT WOOT!!!
I have also decided to pick up something I started a long time ago: Dream journaling. I am not doing it for any other reason other than that it's so funny/interesting to look back and see how ridiculous they are. I had a dream this morning that I have to journal still... I think I am going to entitle it "Mopey". If you really want to know who Mopey is (yes it is a character in my dream), you'll have to ask the next time you see me. I also have a dream in there from a long time ago titled: David Hasselhoff and the End of the World. LOL Going back and reading them I can remember exactly what the dream was, it is really neat.
That's all my thoughts for now. I have work tonight, which is a nice bit of unexpected income! God is good! All the time, all the time He is good!!! I love that song!!!
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Controlled by a Strong Canadian Wind
Something about the wind blowing in from Canada is making me feel like the only way I can get onto AIM or MSN is if I update my blog first. hmmmm... I better be cautious.
So, I am here in Mt. Pleasant... Ah, how I love spring time on campus. The trees all have their leaves, the tulips are coming out, the grass is thick and green, and the crab apple and berry trees have their blossoms. I just love walking around here when everything is so beautiful.
I am taking one summer class: English 201 (advanced composition). It seems like it is going to be both intriguing and a lot of work.
*** I'm interrupting this update to tell you that a very gross man is sitting across from me and is coughing without covering his mouth. He is also moaning at random times, which I am assuming is him clearing his throat... He just looked at me... Maybe he can sense I am writing about him! AHHH***
Anyway, back to school... I am looking forward to being able to work hard at one class and do really well. I already had one test that counted towards my grade and it's only the second day of class. I didn't fail it! YAY!
I start my summer job soon, and for those of you who don't know yet, I will be working for Listening Ear. I am going to be working in a group home on midnight shifts probably 3 times a week and also helping a couple guys do things in the community... I am assuming recreation, grocery shopping, etc. I am not sure of all the details yet, but I will let you all know as soon as I know. I have a three hour meeting on Thursday morning where I will fill out paper work and watch some sort of video.
So, sad news... My grandpa is in the hospital. I don't feel like talking about it right now because I feel like I have told the story so many times. I can say though that I am learning a lot, and being tested at my limits. God is working in my family, and in me, yet tragedy is also at work. It is interesting to see how everyone reacts.
OK IT'S ANNOYING STEP MOM TIME!!!!
(krista, I can't believe I forgot to tell you this story... She is still mad me)
So, when I got home to my actual house and was going to be there for more than a few hours it wasn't until about Thursday of last week when I had actually been in town since the previous Friday. So on that day I decided I should do some much needed laundry. There was laundry in the washer and dryer that belonged to dad, Joe and Dee. I took the laundry from the dryer and set in on a big tupper ware container like usual, and put the clothes from the wash in the dryer. As usually expected, upon the ding of the dryer I took the clothes out and put them on top of the first pile. I went about my business not really thinking much of my actions since it is the way things have been done for a long long time.
The next day I got a phone call from a friend and decided to take it outside. When I got back in Dee said "Liz, did your dad talk to you about the laundry", I said "no" and looked at her quizzically. "Well", she said "Next time... The hangers are sitting right there can you just hang up the clothes instead of piling them in a big heap, I don't want them to get wrinkled."
UGH!!!!! OK, for real people, these "clothes" were mostly random lounge clothes that were ugly anyway and no one should ever wear, besides what the heck?!?! Why was she confronting me about this anyway, how was I supposed to know that the hangers were supposed to be used or if they were extras, and why was this expectation of a new practice put on me when I was just doing what was always done????
THE DRAMA CONTINUES
So, I say to her that I was only doing what I have always done, and she says she just wants me to be more considerate... blah blah... So I am upset and want to say really horrible things, but decided to tell her that maybe next time I will, or maybe I won't. I then proceed to go down stairs and slam the door as hard as I can. I am sitting in my room thinking very nasty cuss words, and wanting to punch something. I was just so taken aback that this new rule, or expectation or whatever was put on my shoulders when I didn't even know it existed, and when I didn't come through, Dee gets upset. UGH AGAIN!! Oh man, I was so mad... More mad than I have been in a long time. The act of helping with laundry itself was not the big deal, I like helping... It was the way I was reprimanded with an upset look and tone when I didn't do anything wrong. I decided to take matters further by confronting Dee. I took a few deep breaths and walked up stairs.
IT ALL COMES OUT!
I go up stairs and tell her "Never tell me to do something like that after the fact again! If you want me to help with the laundry just say: "Liz, I am really busy today, can you please take those clothes and put them on hangers for me?". "Don't get upset when I don't do something I didn't even know I was supposed to do!" My speech gets long after this and I proceed to tell her how I don't like staying at home because I don't like things are done around there. I don't feel like it's my home anymore. I wish dad was there, and if he were I'd come home more often. I told her that Sandy's house was where I felt at home. She tried to say as she always does "I am sorry that you feel that way, what can I do to change it?" The point was though, and I told her this... I wanted to see Dad... That's what would make things better. He is barely home, and when he is they are in their room having sex (I left the sex part out). Anyway, it's true. I left upset and unresolved, but I think I got my point across.
SHE WON'T LET IT GO
Sunday at church I went over to Dee and Dad to say hello. Oh man, was she still mad... It had been two days! Anyway... I got over her stupidness, so I figured she'd be over my rebuttal... Apparently not. She wouldn't talk to me, and when she looked at me she gave me "the look". Now her look is different than a regular "mom look". This is worse. This is a "you made me upset, I want things my way, I am gonna get them, I got your daddy and you can't do anything about it look". Oh man... It is scary. So... That's how things are right now... We'll see with all the extra stress of my grandpa how it unfolds.
WOW, this is a really long entry... Perhaps I'll write more tomorrow. There is something else I want to write about, but I'll just have to keep you in suspense!!
So, I am here in Mt. Pleasant... Ah, how I love spring time on campus. The trees all have their leaves, the tulips are coming out, the grass is thick and green, and the crab apple and berry trees have their blossoms. I just love walking around here when everything is so beautiful.
I am taking one summer class: English 201 (advanced composition). It seems like it is going to be both intriguing and a lot of work.
*** I'm interrupting this update to tell you that a very gross man is sitting across from me and is coughing without covering his mouth. He is also moaning at random times, which I am assuming is him clearing his throat... He just looked at me... Maybe he can sense I am writing about him! AHHH***
Anyway, back to school... I am looking forward to being able to work hard at one class and do really well. I already had one test that counted towards my grade and it's only the second day of class. I didn't fail it! YAY!
I start my summer job soon, and for those of you who don't know yet, I will be working for Listening Ear. I am going to be working in a group home on midnight shifts probably 3 times a week and also helping a couple guys do things in the community... I am assuming recreation, grocery shopping, etc. I am not sure of all the details yet, but I will let you all know as soon as I know. I have a three hour meeting on Thursday morning where I will fill out paper work and watch some sort of video.
So, sad news... My grandpa is in the hospital. I don't feel like talking about it right now because I feel like I have told the story so many times. I can say though that I am learning a lot, and being tested at my limits. God is working in my family, and in me, yet tragedy is also at work. It is interesting to see how everyone reacts.
OK IT'S ANNOYING STEP MOM TIME!!!!
(krista, I can't believe I forgot to tell you this story... She is still mad me)
So, when I got home to my actual house and was going to be there for more than a few hours it wasn't until about Thursday of last week when I had actually been in town since the previous Friday. So on that day I decided I should do some much needed laundry. There was laundry in the washer and dryer that belonged to dad, Joe and Dee. I took the laundry from the dryer and set in on a big tupper ware container like usual, and put the clothes from the wash in the dryer. As usually expected, upon the ding of the dryer I took the clothes out and put them on top of the first pile. I went about my business not really thinking much of my actions since it is the way things have been done for a long long time.
The next day I got a phone call from a friend and decided to take it outside. When I got back in Dee said "Liz, did your dad talk to you about the laundry", I said "no" and looked at her quizzically. "Well", she said "Next time... The hangers are sitting right there can you just hang up the clothes instead of piling them in a big heap, I don't want them to get wrinkled."
UGH!!!!! OK, for real people, these "clothes" were mostly random lounge clothes that were ugly anyway and no one should ever wear, besides what the heck?!?! Why was she confronting me about this anyway, how was I supposed to know that the hangers were supposed to be used or if they were extras, and why was this expectation of a new practice put on me when I was just doing what was always done????
THE DRAMA CONTINUES
So, I say to her that I was only doing what I have always done, and she says she just wants me to be more considerate... blah blah... So I am upset and want to say really horrible things, but decided to tell her that maybe next time I will, or maybe I won't. I then proceed to go down stairs and slam the door as hard as I can. I am sitting in my room thinking very nasty cuss words, and wanting to punch something. I was just so taken aback that this new rule, or expectation or whatever was put on my shoulders when I didn't even know it existed, and when I didn't come through, Dee gets upset. UGH AGAIN!! Oh man, I was so mad... More mad than I have been in a long time. The act of helping with laundry itself was not the big deal, I like helping... It was the way I was reprimanded with an upset look and tone when I didn't do anything wrong. I decided to take matters further by confronting Dee. I took a few deep breaths and walked up stairs.
IT ALL COMES OUT!
I go up stairs and tell her "Never tell me to do something like that after the fact again! If you want me to help with the laundry just say: "Liz, I am really busy today, can you please take those clothes and put them on hangers for me?". "Don't get upset when I don't do something I didn't even know I was supposed to do!" My speech gets long after this and I proceed to tell her how I don't like staying at home because I don't like things are done around there. I don't feel like it's my home anymore. I wish dad was there, and if he were I'd come home more often. I told her that Sandy's house was where I felt at home. She tried to say as she always does "I am sorry that you feel that way, what can I do to change it?" The point was though, and I told her this... I wanted to see Dad... That's what would make things better. He is barely home, and when he is they are in their room having sex (I left the sex part out). Anyway, it's true. I left upset and unresolved, but I think I got my point across.
SHE WON'T LET IT GO
Sunday at church I went over to Dee and Dad to say hello. Oh man, was she still mad... It had been two days! Anyway... I got over her stupidness, so I figured she'd be over my rebuttal... Apparently not. She wouldn't talk to me, and when she looked at me she gave me "the look". Now her look is different than a regular "mom look". This is worse. This is a "you made me upset, I want things my way, I am gonna get them, I got your daddy and you can't do anything about it look". Oh man... It is scary. So... That's how things are right now... We'll see with all the extra stress of my grandpa how it unfolds.
WOW, this is a really long entry... Perhaps I'll write more tomorrow. There is something else I want to write about, but I'll just have to keep you in suspense!!
Saturday, April 30, 2005
Update
Well, It's been a month since I last wrote so I figured it was time to write again!!
Things are going pretty well up here at ol' CMU. Most of my friends are stressed, but we are still finding time to be together and have a good time.
I had a particularly enjoyable time talking with Kristin last night. I was good to have some quality one-on-one time with a good friend. ahhhh.... it's just good.
I have four REAL finals coming up this week with two of them being cumulative. This is the first time I have had this happen. It feels strange that I acctually have to work really hard for four different finals instead of just working hard for one or two big ones!! Kinda icky, but I'll make it through.
Grandpa Porter is in the hospital and it looks like he'll be there for at least a week if not more doing rehab. After that he will be sent to either a convelecent home or to his home with an in-home care nurse or something. I really want to go home to help make decisions, and boost some morales, but I just can't swing it right now. I feel trapped. All I want to do is be two places at once, is that really too much to ask??
Anyway, I need to get back to the real reason I am at the library and that is for studying!!!
Talk at ya later!!
Things are going pretty well up here at ol' CMU. Most of my friends are stressed, but we are still finding time to be together and have a good time.
I had a particularly enjoyable time talking with Kristin last night. I was good to have some quality one-on-one time with a good friend. ahhhh.... it's just good.
I have four REAL finals coming up this week with two of them being cumulative. This is the first time I have had this happen. It feels strange that I acctually have to work really hard for four different finals instead of just working hard for one or two big ones!! Kinda icky, but I'll make it through.
Grandpa Porter is in the hospital and it looks like he'll be there for at least a week if not more doing rehab. After that he will be sent to either a convelecent home or to his home with an in-home care nurse or something. I really want to go home to help make decisions, and boost some morales, but I just can't swing it right now. I feel trapped. All I want to do is be two places at once, is that really too much to ask??
Anyway, I need to get back to the real reason I am at the library and that is for studying!!!
Talk at ya later!!
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Monday, March 14, 2005
Oh How I Long to KNOW
I am longing right now....
Longing to know....
Longing so much, with no way to know until enough time has passed...
Longing to know what the heck "tee hee sniggle" means!!
I have to wait until I get to book 12!!! I am reading Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events and I just can't take it!! Tee Hee Sniggle doesn't come until book 11 or 12 or something like that. Krista says it to me all the time. I hope it's code for something nice. :)
Luckily I am on book the Sixth, so I am not too far away from knowing.
Longing to know....
Longing so much, with no way to know until enough time has passed...
Longing to know what the heck "tee hee sniggle" means!!
I have to wait until I get to book 12!!! I am reading Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events and I just can't take it!! Tee Hee Sniggle doesn't come until book 11 or 12 or something like that. Krista says it to me all the time. I hope it's code for something nice. :)
Luckily I am on book the Sixth, so I am not too far away from knowing.
Friday, March 04, 2005
The beginning of a good break
Tonight I begin my Spring break... but not before a disaster of course. So I had this online exam to take. The Prof. said that the test would be open Wed-Friday... so I assumed that it would be open for all of Friday since he didn't clarify. I even checked the online system earlier in the week just to be sure, and because I didn't see anything that told me otherwise I just kept on assuming. So, I come to the lab at 7:33pm on Friday and guess what... there's no test. There's not even any record that there ever was a test... there used to be a posted announcement about it, but it's not even in the archive of annoucements. Sooooo weird! So I e-mailed my prof. and I really hope that he lets me take it, or at least gives me an alternative assignment. I kind of feel foolish, but I also feel like it's not my fault. I hope everything works out without me getting mad! heh...
So, besides that I think this break is going to be great. I am going to start it off right with a visit to my boober Jessica!!! We haven't seen eachother in a long time, and I just can't wait to catch-up, see her new apartment (and her first), giggle a ton, cook together...awww... just be us together. I am very much looking forward to it.
Then I get to have a week off work and go home. Maria and I are "hanging out" on Monday and Wednesday!! YAY!! I think I might read some books, spend time with my gpants, chill with my dad, visit my mom, and hopefully, hopefully, get to spend some good quality time with my bubby. I feel like I don't even know him anymore. I don't think we've talked since I was home at Christmas time. ew.
What else... I think I might play with my furry animal friends do something adventurous and hang out with Nick.
I had a great week, and I think I have a greaterest one to come. Maybe I'll finish the whole Series of Unfortunate Events books. I am through book number 5 and have been itching for more!!!
Ok, that's enough typing for now, I am going to start my break by renting a hott movie... well, maybe not hott... but good... yeah.
So, besides that I think this break is going to be great. I am going to start it off right with a visit to my boober Jessica!!! We haven't seen eachother in a long time, and I just can't wait to catch-up, see her new apartment (and her first), giggle a ton, cook together...awww... just be us together. I am very much looking forward to it.
Then I get to have a week off work and go home. Maria and I are "hanging out" on Monday and Wednesday!! YAY!! I think I might read some books, spend time with my gpants, chill with my dad, visit my mom, and hopefully, hopefully, get to spend some good quality time with my bubby. I feel like I don't even know him anymore. I don't think we've talked since I was home at Christmas time. ew.
What else... I think I might play with my furry animal friends do something adventurous and hang out with Nick.
I had a great week, and I think I have a greaterest one to come. Maybe I'll finish the whole Series of Unfortunate Events books. I am through book number 5 and have been itching for more!!!
Ok, that's enough typing for now, I am going to start my break by renting a hott movie... well, maybe not hott... but good... yeah.
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
A Turn
My life is taking a turn... I don't know for what... good or bad, slight or huge... but it's a turn none the less. I told you something was going to happen!!
Yesterday while talking to my dear friend Tasha I realized something:
I AM AT COLLEGE!! I HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO HAVE A TOTAL BLAST DAY AND NIGHT, DO CRAZY THINGS, LEARN A TON, BE A YOUNG ADULT WITHOUT A FULL-TIME JOB!!!!!!!!!!!
Tasha was talking about how she is being freed from all this stuff that she has been carrying around with her. She shared with me Luke 15... I was listening, I really was... but while she was talking I was coming to a realization. I need to pick myself up everyday, dust myself off and move on. I want to have fun and spend time with people, and do cool things. I hate how I have somehow become more unstable than I was before I came here to CMU. Maybe it's stress, but I never let "unfortunate or hard" things be an excuse to get me down before!!! I want my struggles to be stepping stones, my hurts to be spring boards for a better life, a deeper joy.
So, all in all I think the turn is something that could be huge, right now I am just taking it a day at a time. Which is what I used to do...
I am glad the sun is out today. At least it's sorta out.
Tonight I have small group, and then I will sleep.
Yesterday while talking to my dear friend Tasha I realized something:
I AM AT COLLEGE!! I HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO HAVE A TOTAL BLAST DAY AND NIGHT, DO CRAZY THINGS, LEARN A TON, BE A YOUNG ADULT WITHOUT A FULL-TIME JOB!!!!!!!!!!!
Tasha was talking about how she is being freed from all this stuff that she has been carrying around with her. She shared with me Luke 15... I was listening, I really was... but while she was talking I was coming to a realization. I need to pick myself up everyday, dust myself off and move on. I want to have fun and spend time with people, and do cool things. I hate how I have somehow become more unstable than I was before I came here to CMU. Maybe it's stress, but I never let "unfortunate or hard" things be an excuse to get me down before!!! I want my struggles to be stepping stones, my hurts to be spring boards for a better life, a deeper joy.
So, all in all I think the turn is something that could be huge, right now I am just taking it a day at a time. Which is what I used to do...
I am glad the sun is out today. At least it's sorta out.
Tonight I have small group, and then I will sleep.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
The End
I wish this was the end... the end of something... so I could start something new, somewhere else. I want to get a new identity and go somewhere new where I don't have to be me anymore.
My car was crashed by a dear friend and because I took a risk, and couldn't afford full insurance on my car my dear friend and her parents are now thousands of dollars further into debt. I hate this. I want it all to just go away. I am trying to listen to the voice of reason, I am trying to let it go... but last night I couldn't.
A Night to Forget
I am black and blue because I had no way out
I couldn't run
I couldn't hide
I couldn't tell anyone
I tried, I tried to ask for help
There is no one on this earth to help
God was there, but I couldn't feel Him
I wanted to so badly, but I was hurting
Frustrated, angry, sad, worn out, pathetic
I couldn't run
I couldn't hide
I couldn't tell anyone
I am black and blue because I had no way out
---Liz---
I still want to run away, but as the day goes on I am feeling more and more like I want to stay, stay me, stay here... just go back to normal. God is bringing me people today that are showing His love for me, and I am grateful to Him for that.
Something is going to happen soon. I don't know what, but it's something.
My car was crashed by a dear friend and because I took a risk, and couldn't afford full insurance on my car my dear friend and her parents are now thousands of dollars further into debt. I hate this. I want it all to just go away. I am trying to listen to the voice of reason, I am trying to let it go... but last night I couldn't.
A Night to Forget
I am black and blue because I had no way out
I couldn't run
I couldn't hide
I couldn't tell anyone
I tried, I tried to ask for help
There is no one on this earth to help
God was there, but I couldn't feel Him
I wanted to so badly, but I was hurting
Frustrated, angry, sad, worn out, pathetic
I couldn't run
I couldn't hide
I couldn't tell anyone
I am black and blue because I had no way out
---Liz---
I still want to run away, but as the day goes on I am feeling more and more like I want to stay, stay me, stay here... just go back to normal. God is bringing me people today that are showing His love for me, and I am grateful to Him for that.
Something is going to happen soon. I don't know what, but it's something.
Monday, February 07, 2005
Back into action
This week I am determined to go to all of my classes. I have been trying to get at least 8 hours of sleep a night, but in order to do that I was skipping class. SO... I have decided not to look at the clock when I go to bed. I already knew this little trick, but never really use it. You see when I don't look at the clock and say to myself "self, you are going to get up when the alarm goes off ready for the day, refreshed and renewed" it usually works. For some reason if I don't know how many hours of sleep I actually got I don't know how tired I actually am. I'll let you know how the experiment works out.
Speaking of experiments, I have to do some research for my philosophy of Recreation, Parks, and Leisure course. Tonight my task is to write up the abstract. hmmmmmm... How does one do something like that? Guess I'll just do my best at BS-ing my way through it.
I'd like to give a shout out to my GB-study friends. I was just talking about how all of you rock, and I love spending time with you when I get a chance. I am looking forward to seeing you all again soon and living out my life as a musical as we act like fools breaking into song randomly. And I think we all need some of James' famous heartfelt lemonade. :)
.
So this weekend I went to Genesis. God blessed me and I think our whole chapter hugely there. Worship was great!! I love gospel! The seminar I attended got me really excited for things to come, and of course car rides and staying up, and giggling a lot made us all closer. I am glad I had the opportunity to go.
This week I have two tests and yeah... other stuff to work on. It should be a pretty productive week.
I have my mind on a lot of "things" so I hope that all works out ok.
Word!
A side note about my freaky life:
There is a good chance I might have been watched by this guy with creepy intentions last night around 9-10:15pm. I was at the library and this guy kept looking at me. At first I thought he just thought I was hott or something, but the looking got a little out of hand. So then he left... Then he came back... Still looking... So then I had to go to work. I got up, pushed in my chair and turned to leave. When I turned I heard this guy get up. He was watching me while I was getting ready to leave... So I was pretty freaked at this point. I decided not to turn around, but to just keep walking. I was thinking of a way to make him not behind me anymore so I thought I'd go into java city and see if he would pass by.... Well, when I got to the entrance of java city I realized no one was in there and that I'd have no way out if he followed me in there. So I kept walking... I put my keys in between my fingers so I had some kind of chance of defending myself. At this point I was very concerned. As I walked outside I looked behind me and saw he was watching me. I prayed... "God please protect me". Then the guy was gone, I couldn't see him anymore. I got in my car as fast as I could. While I was driving I saw him walking by the road. I looked at him as I drove by, it was very erie as he looked right back at me. Then he started running towards my car/in the same direction I was going. I have no idea who this guy was and whether he was upset and needed a friend/help and didn't know who to go to (I almost turned around to see cause I started feeling bad for him... He kinda looked like he had been roughed up or something that day) or if he was just a guy who wanted to do something weird to someone. Nevertheless my eyes are out for this guy. It will be interesting to see if I ever see him again.
Speaking of experiments, I have to do some research for my philosophy of Recreation, Parks, and Leisure course. Tonight my task is to write up the abstract. hmmmmmm... How does one do something like that? Guess I'll just do my best at BS-ing my way through it.
I'd like to give a shout out to my GB-study friends. I was just talking about how all of you rock, and I love spending time with you when I get a chance. I am looking forward to seeing you all again soon and living out my life as a musical as we act like fools breaking into song randomly. And I think we all need some of James' famous heartfelt lemonade. :)
.
So this weekend I went to Genesis. God blessed me and I think our whole chapter hugely there. Worship was great!! I love gospel! The seminar I attended got me really excited for things to come, and of course car rides and staying up, and giggling a lot made us all closer. I am glad I had the opportunity to go.
This week I have two tests and yeah... other stuff to work on. It should be a pretty productive week.
I have my mind on a lot of "things" so I hope that all works out ok.
Word!
A side note about my freaky life:
There is a good chance I might have been watched by this guy with creepy intentions last night around 9-10:15pm. I was at the library and this guy kept looking at me. At first I thought he just thought I was hott or something, but the looking got a little out of hand. So then he left... Then he came back... Still looking... So then I had to go to work. I got up, pushed in my chair and turned to leave. When I turned I heard this guy get up. He was watching me while I was getting ready to leave... So I was pretty freaked at this point. I decided not to turn around, but to just keep walking. I was thinking of a way to make him not behind me anymore so I thought I'd go into java city and see if he would pass by.... Well, when I got to the entrance of java city I realized no one was in there and that I'd have no way out if he followed me in there. So I kept walking... I put my keys in between my fingers so I had some kind of chance of defending myself. At this point I was very concerned. As I walked outside I looked behind me and saw he was watching me. I prayed... "God please protect me". Then the guy was gone, I couldn't see him anymore. I got in my car as fast as I could. While I was driving I saw him walking by the road. I looked at him as I drove by, it was very erie as he looked right back at me. Then he started running towards my car/in the same direction I was going. I have no idea who this guy was and whether he was upset and needed a friend/help and didn't know who to go to (I almost turned around to see cause I started feeling bad for him... He kinda looked like he had been roughed up or something that day) or if he was just a guy who wanted to do something weird to someone. Nevertheless my eyes are out for this guy. It will be interesting to see if I ever see him again.
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
The Search for Love
It's funny how we look for love. It boggles my mind how so much we can fall for someone we don't even know just because they have nice hair and teeth, a cute laugh, or a special talent. And it's funny how we can drop that person in a second and find someone with better hair, teeth, laughs and talents. What really is for sure around here anymore? How long will I oogle over potential husbands until I find the "right" one. How many times will I play my wedding over and over with different men?
It's strange how the human mind works, everyone can just conjure up whole worlds of possibilities with several different endings. I wonder how long it will take for me to know that "he's the one". How long will I doubt feelings of "rightness" until I just jump in there and ask the guy out, or until someone pursues me? Am I inevitably putting off marriage because I am too scared to just go for it? Because I am too scared I'll mess up?
Ok, right here and now I have decided to just mess up! I am going to just do stuff... just be me, and not worry who is watching. I am going to not worry about the "absolute right way to date" that the Christian community tries to pressure on it's young adults. It's all crap anyway, it's all mini laws that we make up so we can feel justified, so we can compare ourselves to every other Christian and make sure we're doing better. I don't think that's what Jesus intended and I am not going to support it any longer. Obviously I am going to have some sense about my actions, and absolutely am I going to ask God for guidance and direction before I go to do anything.... but bottom line is I don't think there is any right way to date, any right man, any amount of time I should wait before doing this or that, any stupid human measurement to tell me if I am on the right track.... I am just going to live knowing that I am justified by Christ's sacrificial death, I am free from the law, and I am not going to carry those laws around with me anymore. Goodbye Law, hello righteousness!!!
What you have just been exposed to are my thoughts, raw and unedited. I just plopped them on the screen with no inhibition. All of what I just said is subject to change. Well, except the truth about Jesus dieing a sacrificial death and me being freed from the law and declared righteous in God's eyes. And oh, that whole bit about the laws that we all make up to make ourselves feel better... that's all rock solid too... So... yeah everything else could be subject to change.
Today is a funny day. I have been happy, joyful, sad, mad, unmad, tired, and excited all in a few hours... I guess it's a "full" day.
This weekend I am going to Genesis. For those of you who don't know it's the Spring Conference for InterVarsity Christian Fellowship (a group that I am a part of at school). Anyway this year the seminars are on Chapter Building! It should be pretty darn awesome. I think there are seven of us going, which is less than I would have hoped, but the group that is going is fun.
This BLOG is getting long, so I am going to stop.
It's strange how the human mind works, everyone can just conjure up whole worlds of possibilities with several different endings. I wonder how long it will take for me to know that "he's the one". How long will I doubt feelings of "rightness" until I just jump in there and ask the guy out, or until someone pursues me? Am I inevitably putting off marriage because I am too scared to just go for it? Because I am too scared I'll mess up?
Ok, right here and now I have decided to just mess up! I am going to just do stuff... just be me, and not worry who is watching. I am going to not worry about the "absolute right way to date" that the Christian community tries to pressure on it's young adults. It's all crap anyway, it's all mini laws that we make up so we can feel justified, so we can compare ourselves to every other Christian and make sure we're doing better. I don't think that's what Jesus intended and I am not going to support it any longer. Obviously I am going to have some sense about my actions, and absolutely am I going to ask God for guidance and direction before I go to do anything.... but bottom line is I don't think there is any right way to date, any right man, any amount of time I should wait before doing this or that, any stupid human measurement to tell me if I am on the right track.... I am just going to live knowing that I am justified by Christ's sacrificial death, I am free from the law, and I am not going to carry those laws around with me anymore. Goodbye Law, hello righteousness!!!
What you have just been exposed to are my thoughts, raw and unedited. I just plopped them on the screen with no inhibition. All of what I just said is subject to change. Well, except the truth about Jesus dieing a sacrificial death and me being freed from the law and declared righteous in God's eyes. And oh, that whole bit about the laws that we all make up to make ourselves feel better... that's all rock solid too... So... yeah everything else could be subject to change.
Today is a funny day. I have been happy, joyful, sad, mad, unmad, tired, and excited all in a few hours... I guess it's a "full" day.
This weekend I am going to Genesis. For those of you who don't know it's the Spring Conference for InterVarsity Christian Fellowship (a group that I am a part of at school). Anyway this year the seminars are on Chapter Building! It should be pretty darn awesome. I think there are seven of us going, which is less than I would have hoped, but the group that is going is fun.
This BLOG is getting long, so I am going to stop.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Doughnuts from the DownUnder
Right now I am eating a doughnut from the DownUnder and I have to say it is one of my favoritest places to obtain such a snack. There is just something about the cream filled ones.. the cream is soooo creamy and the dough has such a good flavor. Amazing really how wonderful they are.
So it's been too long since I have written and my friends sara and joylynn are probably on the verge of sending me a nasty letter saying "if you don't tell me what is up in your life I am going to send you a piece of explosive mail!!". so to avoid laura from getting hurt (since she checks the mail) I decided to write and update.
My Spring Semester has just started... acctually it's already week three!! WHOA! I am taking 18 credit hours, so my plate is quite full. I am enjoying my classes for the most part, but i know there is more work to come... a lot of hard work. But for now i am enjoying the begining of semester. I have two 500 level courses which are not exciting at all, but oh well!
I'd like to take a moment to show you all something that is just wrong. click here: http://www.spoonsisters.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=36301&Category_Code=1004000&Product_Count=28
If any of you want these or know someone who would you or that person should be taught a lesson.
Ok, back to me... Today I have to study for my first test.... ew! Then I have a dinner date with miss Tricia.
Things I have been thinking about:
The way Christians create almost an alternate world with laws and rules to follow that don't really matter
Where I am going to do my internship: if I go home... well... I am home and if I stay in Mt. P. then I can't work with kids as there is no opportunities anywhere close.
My summer: where am I going to work, how am I going to have fun?
I am currently reading the series by lemony snicket A Series of Unfortunate Events. I am now nearly finished with book 3 and I am longing to be on book 11 so I can know what tee hee sniggle means! (Krista keeps saying it, but won't tell me!!)
I am going home this weekend to be with Sandy, John, Maria, and my grandparents. It should be a splendid time!
Well, I'm outie! PEACE!
So it's been too long since I have written and my friends sara and joylynn are probably on the verge of sending me a nasty letter saying "if you don't tell me what is up in your life I am going to send you a piece of explosive mail!!". so to avoid laura from getting hurt (since she checks the mail) I decided to write and update.
My Spring Semester has just started... acctually it's already week three!! WHOA! I am taking 18 credit hours, so my plate is quite full. I am enjoying my classes for the most part, but i know there is more work to come... a lot of hard work. But for now i am enjoying the begining of semester. I have two 500 level courses which are not exciting at all, but oh well!
I'd like to take a moment to show you all something that is just wrong. click here: http://www.spoonsisters.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=36301&Category_Code=1004000&Product_Count=28
If any of you want these or know someone who would you or that person should be taught a lesson.
Ok, back to me... Today I have to study for my first test.... ew! Then I have a dinner date with miss Tricia.
Things I have been thinking about:
The way Christians create almost an alternate world with laws and rules to follow that don't really matter
Where I am going to do my internship: if I go home... well... I am home and if I stay in Mt. P. then I can't work with kids as there is no opportunities anywhere close.
My summer: where am I going to work, how am I going to have fun?
I am currently reading the series by lemony snicket A Series of Unfortunate Events. I am now nearly finished with book 3 and I am longing to be on book 11 so I can know what tee hee sniggle means! (Krista keeps saying it, but won't tell me!!)
I am going home this weekend to be with Sandy, John, Maria, and my grandparents. It should be a splendid time!
Well, I'm outie! PEACE!
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
It's Official
My Christmas break has offically started. As of 10:50 this morning I am free to be without class obligations for 3 whole weeks. I am very very happy!
I will be spending my break up here at school babysitting for Dorothy once again this year. They are having a rough time, so I hope I can bring some Christmas cheer to the family.
I go home this weekend to have the Noll family Christmas. I am in charge of a fruit platter with dip!! i am looking forward to making it.
On Friday I am Krista's date for Brenda Brakes wedding. It's going to be good. I hear we get really tastey food!
I am still not sure what I want for Christmas. I think I will look online and get some ideas. The only thing I can think of it an air purifyer and maybe a couple movies or something. My mom is taking me shopping to get some nice clothes. It will be good to have some stuff I can wear in the winter... I need some nice sweaters so I stop wearing my sweatshirts. Jeans are on sale at Target so I might ask for a few pair!
Today I ate a ranch burger. MMMMMMM! I love ranch. I thought I hated it until about a year ago when I went to Outback Steakhouse and tried their ranch on cheesey fries. Now I am in love with it. Well, maybe not in love, but I like it a lot.
Ok, I am off to see what I want for Christmas!! bubberoo!!!
note to Sara: I am on a computer that for some reason doesn't give me the option to make my words pretty colors and bold them. You'll have to be creative and add emphasis as necessary!
I will be spending my break up here at school babysitting for Dorothy once again this year. They are having a rough time, so I hope I can bring some Christmas cheer to the family.
I go home this weekend to have the Noll family Christmas. I am in charge of a fruit platter with dip!! i am looking forward to making it.
On Friday I am Krista's date for Brenda Brakes wedding. It's going to be good. I hear we get really tastey food!
I am still not sure what I want for Christmas. I think I will look online and get some ideas. The only thing I can think of it an air purifyer and maybe a couple movies or something. My mom is taking me shopping to get some nice clothes. It will be good to have some stuff I can wear in the winter... I need some nice sweaters so I stop wearing my sweatshirts. Jeans are on sale at Target so I might ask for a few pair!
Today I ate a ranch burger. MMMMMMM! I love ranch. I thought I hated it until about a year ago when I went to Outback Steakhouse and tried their ranch on cheesey fries. Now I am in love with it. Well, maybe not in love, but I like it a lot.
Ok, I am off to see what I want for Christmas!! bubberoo!!!
note to Sara: I am on a computer that for some reason doesn't give me the option to make my words pretty colors and bold them. You'll have to be creative and add emphasis as necessary!
Saturday, December 11, 2004
The End of the Semester as we Know it!
Hello folks. It's the end of what has been a long and laborious semester. I am so exhausted.
I still have one more week to go, a week of finals. All of my tests are probably going to be very hard and I don't know how well I'll do on them. I am learning, which is good... Just not testing well.
Although it will be a week of stress it will also be a week of fun. I will be hanging out with my friends and stuff, which should prove to be good times.
Although fun it is going to be sad. Some of my friends are leaving. Laura is going back home to student teach, Ryan and Sara are going to Minnesota... It's going to be tough. Living with Laura has been great and we are buddies more than I could have imagined before. I have grown close to Ryan and especially Sara since I have been here. It's going to be weird to not see them around. I think I will cry a lot. Yeah, I am sure I will.
Tonight I am frustrated because I don't understand the material for my exam tomorrow. It's a sociology class. I can find the answers in the book, but I don't know what they mean necessarily. So I feel dumb and discouraged most of the time I have spent studying so far.
I am looking forward to sleeping. And then getting up in the morning and going to church and laughing at the kids do their cantata, and then going to a surprise shower for Megan. It's going to be a blast. Oh, then I get to watch Survivor too! It's the season finale, so you better tune in!! 8-11 pm tomorrow!!
I hope all those who I haven't talked to in a while are doing good. I miss my Goodrich peoples, and Joylynn, and Family too. Oh Bubby, how I miss you!!! I want to kiss your cheek!!
Ok, I am signing off for now!! See ya lata!!
I still have one more week to go, a week of finals. All of my tests are probably going to be very hard and I don't know how well I'll do on them. I am learning, which is good... Just not testing well.
Although it will be a week of stress it will also be a week of fun. I will be hanging out with my friends and stuff, which should prove to be good times.
Although fun it is going to be sad. Some of my friends are leaving. Laura is going back home to student teach, Ryan and Sara are going to Minnesota... It's going to be tough. Living with Laura has been great and we are buddies more than I could have imagined before. I have grown close to Ryan and especially Sara since I have been here. It's going to be weird to not see them around. I think I will cry a lot. Yeah, I am sure I will.
Tonight I am frustrated because I don't understand the material for my exam tomorrow. It's a sociology class. I can find the answers in the book, but I don't know what they mean necessarily. So I feel dumb and discouraged most of the time I have spent studying so far.
I am looking forward to sleeping. And then getting up in the morning and going to church and laughing at the kids do their cantata, and then going to a surprise shower for Megan. It's going to be a blast. Oh, then I get to watch Survivor too! It's the season finale, so you better tune in!! 8-11 pm tomorrow!!
I hope all those who I haven't talked to in a while are doing good. I miss my Goodrich peoples, and Joylynn, and Family too. Oh Bubby, how I miss you!!! I want to kiss your cheek!!
Ok, I am signing off for now!! See ya lata!!
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